Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

We try to avoid solitude, but here is why we need it so desperately. Free yourself.


A common thing that I have noticed amongst people is that we are afraid to be alone. Most of us have been conditioned to equate being alone with loneliness, which could not be farther from the truth, and is hindering most of us in our life path. The first step to being an aware and conscious human is to know thyself. But that is impossible to do if we are constantly being bombarded with outside influences and stimuli. One can only truly be self aware if they take time to remove themselves from the commotion, and understand who they are without responding to something outside of themselves.

I recently came to a conclusion that I--along with many other people--am much more introspective than I thought I was. I had this idea of myself, one that included me constantly going out, being surrounded by people who I called friends, or constantly interacting with the outside world. This caused me great anxiety and discrepancies within myself because who I was and who I felt I should be were two different things. I didn't allow myself to know myself, and to be my introspective self. I was trying to act out what I saw as being an ideal way of life.

This idea that solitude is undesirable permeates everything. It is seen to be out of the ordinary to turn down a night of socialization and instead choose to sit alone in your room reading. Most of us are constantly trying to project a certain image as opposed to just letting ourselves be. A person that is true to themselves, rarely goes out, and has a few close friends would seem out of the ordinary in many circles. Awareness and truly being comfortable with oneself can only truly happen and truly be actualized in times of solitude: Time when you cut yourself off from everything and exist and allow yourself to be the true you.

Many of us are uncomfortable with ourselves. Because we are all trying to be some ideal version of what we are. Find comfort in your imperfections, know them like the back of your hand and take pride in them. You will be amazed how much clarity and healing can happen if one simply takes a period of time to keep to themselves, to develop a true relationship with themselves. You have to first be vulnerable with yourself before you can truly be vulnerable with anyone else to connect with them fully.

Being alone can be one of the most enriching periods of life, one that if thought of correctly would ultimately destroy loneliness as opposed to causing it. Once you have a true and authentic relationship with yourself, you then have a best friend with you wherever you set foot. Turn inwards, know yourself, and then once you have accepted and loved what you came to find, you can step back into the world. And then as opposed to projecting some ideal false image, you will project who you really are. With confidence and courage. And if everyone does that, we stop operating on falsehoods and facades, and we can all truly connect with one another. We will all have the empathy and compassion to accept one another with all of our faults and abnormalities. And then all of our external issues and conflicts will be settled, but this battle must first be fought within.

The pain will cease.

Turn inside, and you will find gold.

I promise.

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