The (Not So) Subtle Appeal To A Bashful Boy And His Cheesy Pick Up Line

The (Not So) Subtle Appeal To A Bashful Boy And His Cheesy Pick Up Line

“But do you know how to french kiss?”
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A warm summer night atop the roof of a frat house, (romantic, I know) I lay next to a boy whose name I had forgotten four times, or so he’ll tell you. To be quite honest, I was somewhat shocked by this boy’s apparent nervousness as we’d been talking alone, on the roof, on a beautiful night, for well over 20 minutes and the farthest conversation topic we’d made it to was him asking me, not once, but twice, why I was in LA for the summer.

He’d always seemed so smooth, where is this awkwardness coming from?

My hopes rapidly declining, he turned to me to ask the question all us college girls have heard from frat boys more times than we’d like to admit: “So, what’s your major?”

Wow, he’s really trying to get to know the real me isn’t he? He’s probably never had to deal with a girl not just falling all over him.

Cringing, I cordially respond that, while I hadn’t yet chosen a major, I was going to minor in French. This was his moment to shine, to finally spit his best game yet, and so he took immediate advantage.

His tone rose an octave and he put on his most suave voice, “Oh, but do you know how to french ki––” He cut himself off there and went in for the kiss before he could finish that god awful, cheesy pick-up line.

Flash forward six months and here I am, sitting in his apartment for the billionth time in a row, writing an article, waiting for who I now call my boyfriend, to get out of the shower.

“But do you know how to french kiss?”

Top five cheesiest pick-up lines I’ve ever heard. While I love to make fun of him for this story, it is one of the memories I hold most dear to my heart.

Without further ado ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the (not so) subtle appeal of a bashful boy and his cheesy pick-up line.

When a guy comes to you and delivers a “smooth” pick up line with expert precision, you can be assured he’s used it hundreds of times, on countless girls. I for one was worried as my boyfriend had always appeared too smooth for his own good. No one really loves a player.

A well-versed player has tried and true pick up lines stashed in the back of his pocket, ready at will. He won’t flinch to use one and you bet he won’t stumble over his words as he does.

On the other hand, someone who apprehensively delivers a cheesy pick-up line, no matter how witty it may be, is far less likely to be the player you imagined, or didn’t imagine, him to be.

Not to mention if his nervousness is showing, he’s clearly not certain that his line will be a smashing success. Uncertainty and the ability to take a risk show he isn’t taking himself too seriously.

When someone shows the vulnerability to laugh at themselves, everything becomes less serious, less stuffy. No longer is there the pressure to act in accordance with the “rules,” whatever they may be. This awkward courtship becomes much easier as you both can relax.

Talking to my boyfriend six months later about that first night, he reminds me it came out of a desperation to just take the shot. The pick-up line which started it all came from the uncertainty that I felt the same, a witty word vomit, and a quick save.

It is so comforting to know he was just as nervous as I was, which became apparent through his deliverance of his corny one-liner. Thus I will always have a sweet spot for a bashful boy and his cheesy pick-up line.

Cover Image Credit: Isabelle Roshko

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To The Guy Who Treated Me Like Crap

In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.
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Dear (insert guy's name here),

I’m sorry that I acted as your footstool for so long. You treated me terribly, and for some reason, I couldn’t see that. I only saw you as someone who liked me and wanted to be with me (at least, that’s what I thought). I was like a little puppy dog following you around, completely loving and loyal. I was always waiting for you to text me, posting Snapchat stories for the sole purpose of knowing you would see them and always hoping you would come around when I was out with my friends so I could show you off.

No matter how hard I wanted us to work out, I now realize it never would have.

You weren’t right for me because you treated me like I was your inferior. You were always talking to other girls, flirting with them, and treating me like a child. You were so selfish. Only doing what you wanted and coming around when you felt like it and taking advantage of me. You made me feel crazy when I got mad at you for all the little things. I was so caught up in you that I tried to ignore all of the signals right in front of me.

You just weren’t right for me.

I now know that the right guy for me is the one who respects me and chooses me over everyone else. The guy who never makes me feel insane for questioning something, the guy who understands when he’s done something wrong and can live with the consequences. You just simply couldn’t provide that for me. In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

While I may have been so upset when our relationship ended, it made me realize who I am and what I deserve. I deserve so much more than someone putting in 50 percent. I deserve an endless amount of respect and communication. Putting in your all for a relationship when they can’t do the same is not healthy and it’s childish. I hope someday you can find a girl that you can love infinitely but I take a lot of pride in knowing that girl won’t be me. I may be single for a really long time or I may find the one tomorrow, either way, I have so much hope that one day someone can give me their all and make me feel incredible.

For now, I’m done wasting my time on guys like you who make me feel miserable.

Sincerely,
The One Who Got Away

Cover Image Credit: Trinity Kubassek

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Thanks To The Jonas Brothers, I Never Regret Not Dating A Teenage Boy

Ya'll made it drama free.

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All thanks to three guys from New Jersey, I never regret not having a boyfriend in Middle or High School. I started listening to the Jonas Brothers when I was in 6th grade. I was awkward, I wanted to fit in simply because I was the minority in my mostly white school district. I also wanted to feel more independent since I was reaching the ripe age of 13.

Eventually, certain things came to me where I was able to gain that independence. I had no problem talking to certain adults simply because I would just be myself, and they would have absolutely no issue with it. Then came Nick, Kevin, and Joe. They already had one album out called 'It's About Time', and too contrary belief became a classic for them to date. Eventually, as they made their approach to the Disney Channel, their popularity increased more and more. Soon enough, everyone knew of them. Even if they didn't even listen to their music, they still knew about them.

I was what you called the stereotypical 'fangirl.' I was overly protective of them whenever I would hear any guy in school call them 'gay' 'ugly' or 'untalented'. In fact, I'm very thankful that social media was not as big yet. I could not imagine going off as much as I would imagine. But there were other ways to vent. I still had some of my friends relate, but even with that, a good portion of them would tell me to stop being obsessed with them. But that only allowed my obsession to grow.

Everything that they did was a news update for me. I had to keep up with them ALL the time, no matter what the condition was. I had to know what they were doing every single day. Okay, not to a point of stalking but you get the picture. My point is that no other boy mattered at the time other than them. Joe was my favorite one so I had to keep up with him the most. Especially when he was dating someone. Yes, I will admit that some of Joe's exes were not my favorite, yet I shipped the hell out of the other ones. But I will say now that as a grown woman I am no longer interfering with his relationship. I was always wondering what it would be like to even go on a date around that age.

I never went on one considering how weird teenage boys truly are. Some of them want a girlfriend simply just to have one, and others just had their hormones go all nuts. The reason why I wasn't heavy on dating during that time was simply that I was trying to focus on myself and who I truly was. I did not want to deal with any of the drama that came with a relationship because I had a lot more than I needed to worry about.

Yes, did I want a guy that I thought was hot to date me of course! But it turns out looking back on it, I'm grateful that I decided to not give him the time of day. Considering that nowadays he's not exactly the right person to be with anyway. Even in general, I'm glad I never had to worry about fighting with another girl about another guy. A total complete waste of time, and not worth sacrificing anything.

I realized that there was so much more to life than just having a guy like you. Even if you did get those weird feelings every time he was around. Also if it was the other way around where a guy liked you, and you just didn't like him back. What a complicated web the teenage years hold. But back to the Jo-Bros. I'm grateful that these guys were in my life because it distracted me from the realities of how teenage boys truly are. You know, the ones that don't sing to you and tell you-you're beautiful every five seconds.

I'm grateful for all the memories that I had with these guys, especially making endless books and PowerPoint presentations on why I loved them so much. Although I'll still keep up with them once in a blue moon, it doesn't mean that I'll forget my first love. Just because I'm not in a room where they've plastered all over the walls anymore, doesn't mean that I didn't cherish those times when I would beg my mom to get me the latest teen magazine. If they were not in it, I didn't want it! Plain and simple everyone remembers their first teen crush. But I'm grateful that these three brothers allowed me to not get distracted by the teen dating scene. Also, I think it helped out my father as well.

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