An Apology To The One

An Apology To The One

I am so sorry.
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Judging by the title, I am assuming you are not 'the one' I am talking about. Unless you are my boyfriend in which case, yes you are. This article is not written for views, controversy, or shares. It is written for one person only.

I don't always voice my opinions in the best way. Let me rephrase, I absolutely do voice my opinions; just, lately, not in the kindest way possible. I have always had very strong opinions and was a leader in many aspects of my life. I was able to say what I thought mindfully.

But recently, if any of you had read my first published article, it was about how my boyfriend and I were hit by a drunk driver. My boyfriend walked away from the accident with nothing but a scar on his elbow. I, on the other hand, got most of the impact and still, many months later, am in the doctor's office constantly with no concrete answers or treatment plans. Now don't get me wrong I am glad it was myself and not him. I would not wish that upon anyone, especially someone that I love. However, he was able to continue his research over the summer whilst I had to decline my internship. He was able to have a life. And over the months I had built up a lot of subconscious anger towards him. I couldn't (and still can't really) understand why I got most of the impact and he was able to walk away. And I still can't quite grasp why I have this anger. I know consciously that I would be heartbroken if the situation was reversed and he was in this much pain, but I can't help feel jealousy that he didn't have to drop classes, was able to take summer classes, and work in a physics lab over the summer. As well as do college student normalities like be able to walk to class without his leg giving out.

As I know that I have these feelings, I did not try to acknowledge them, as they are conflicting. But I realize that I have been acknowledging them by taking it out on the one I love. For months he was helping me walk, accompanying me to doctor's appointments and even helping me bathe. But I have been treating him poorly due to my subconscious anger. This only came to light when he broke up with me a few days ago. Thankfully, he accepted my initial apology and we are as good as new. But I can't help but feel that he deserves more. A bigger apology. So here it is.

I won't say your name mostly because I am not sure you will be comfortable with it. But thank you for the last four months. Helping me recover and heal. And thank you even more for the past two years. I couldn't have gotten through the first half of college without you. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for how I have spoken to you lately. You deserve better. And I am working on giving you a better version of myself. You are the one, and I won't lose you. I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Ryan Kuna

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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He Broke Your Heart? Don't Get Revenge, Keep It Classy

This is your reminder

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Okay, so he broke your heart, he left you without a second thought and he never looked back. He left you broken and confused. You are hurting and will do anything to numb the pain, but you also want him to feel the same pain you are feeling.

You want him to regret his decision, to realize what he is missing, that nobody is as good as you. You want him to realize that he lost the best thing that he will ever have.

The best way to make him regret losing you is by showing him how strong and confident you are. The best thing to do is to do what you do best, and that is to be yourself. Continue to move on with your life. Work hard at work and in school. Make him notice your success.

Do not be the girl who stays in her pajamas, can't get out of bed and crying over him on a daily basis. As hard as it is, you need to pick yourself up and move on.

If he sees that you are able to continue on with your life, he will regret his decision even more. It will hurt him to know that you were able to move on without a second thought. Leave him wondering. Make him think that you are not shaken by losing him.

In reality, you are broken and hardly able to put one foot in front of the other, but he doesn't need to know that.

Your silence will be the best revenge there is.

Do not call him or contact him in any way. If he really cares, if he really wants you, he will come back to you.

If he is the one for you, if he is the man that you are meant to marry and spend the rest of your life with, he will come back to you. If he is not meant for you, then someone better will come along. But until then, be the best version of yourself you can be.

When your heart is broken, it is easy to be petty. You want him to feel bad for hurting you. You want him to hurt as much as he hurt you. You want him to realize his mistake, and you will do whatever it takes to make him feel that way. You post on social media, talk to his friends, you try to get any information on him that you can because it kills you inside to think that he could be fine with losing you.

The best thing to do is leave it in the past, focus on yourself and realize that everything happens for a reason and your prince will come. It takes patience. Show him and everyone else how strong you are by keeping it classy and showing him how classy you are will make him rethink his decision.

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