An Apology To The One

An Apology To The One

I am so sorry.
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Judging by the title, I am assuming you are not 'the one' I am talking about. Unless you are my boyfriend in which case, yes you are. This article is not written for views, controversy, or shares. It is written for one person only.

I don't always voice my opinions in the best way. Let me rephrase, I absolutely do voice my opinions; just, lately, not in the kindest way possible. I have always had very strong opinions and was a leader in many aspects of my life. I was able to say what I thought mindfully.

But recently, if any of you had read my first published article, it was about how my boyfriend and I were hit by a drunk driver. My boyfriend walked away from the accident with nothing but a scar on his elbow. I, on the other hand, got most of the impact and still, many months later, am in the doctor's office constantly with no concrete answers or treatment plans. Now don't get me wrong I am glad it was myself and not him. I would not wish that upon anyone, especially someone that I love. However, he was able to continue his research over the summer whilst I had to decline my internship. He was able to have a life. And over the months I had built up a lot of subconscious anger towards him. I couldn't (and still can't really) understand why I got most of the impact and he was able to walk away. And I still can't quite grasp why I have this anger. I know consciously that I would be heartbroken if the situation was reversed and he was in this much pain, but I can't help feel jealousy that he didn't have to drop classes, was able to take summer classes, and work in a physics lab over the summer. As well as do college student normalities like be able to walk to class without his leg giving out.

As I know that I have these feelings, I did not try to acknowledge them, as they are conflicting. But I realize that I have been acknowledging them by taking it out on the one I love. For months he was helping me walk, accompanying me to doctor's appointments and even helping me bathe. But I have been treating him poorly due to my subconscious anger. This only came to light when he broke up with me a few days ago. Thankfully, he accepted my initial apology and we are as good as new. But I can't help but feel that he deserves more. A bigger apology. So here it is.

I won't say your name mostly because I am not sure you will be comfortable with it. But thank you for the last four months. Helping me recover and heal. And thank you even more for the past two years. I couldn't have gotten through the first half of college without you. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for how I have spoken to you lately. You deserve better. And I am working on giving you a better version of myself. You are the one, and I won't lose you. I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Ryan Kuna

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6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.
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Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

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If You THINK You're Too Dependent On Your Boyfriend, You Probably Are

Depend on yourself before you depend on him.

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Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend and being in love is an incredible feeling. But when you depend on your boyfriend for everything and forget how to do things on your own, it becomes a major problem. You might not see it but your family and friends do. Yes he's your boyfriend and of course, you want to spend every single second with him but you can't carry him around in the back of your pocket for the rest of your life. So here's to the girls who are too dependent on your boyfriends, I think you girls might want to hear this.

First and foremost, I completely understand what it's like to be in love and want to spend every second with your boyfriend. I get that he is one of your best friends, one of the people you can trust the most, one of the sources of your happiness, one of your stress relievers, one of the things that brings you comfort, one of the people you can rant to for anything, one of the people that you can cry to about anything, one of the people that you want to make memories with, one of the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with and so much more.

Did you notice I said one of, for all that? He is just one of the people you can go to for all of that, not the only one. You have friends and family who can do all of that too. And trust me, we want to. While yes you might prefer him to those other people, it's still important to keep your friends and family in the loop of what's going on in your life and it's even more important just to keep them in your life.

When you choose your boyfriend over your friends and family for everything, you're slowly pushing them out of your life. I, and everyone else who's been where I have been, completely understand if you already have plans with your boyfriend, or if something is going on you want to spend time with him. But to blow off your friends every single time for him is a slap in the face to us. Or to invite him to everything we do is another slap in the face. Of course as friends and family, we want to spend time with your boyfriend but it gets awkward third wheeling.

Go out with your family and friends without him sometimes and make tons of memories, as you did before. Rant and cry to friends and family sometimes instead, we care about you and your feelings, just as much as he does... maybe, even more, when you guys are fighting. When you don't talk to or see your friends and family without him there, you're pretty much telling us that you don't like being around us and that by bringing him, it makes it more bearable for you.

With that being said, you have to let him do the same. You have to let him have time for his family and friends without you. It looks super weird that you follow him around like a lost little puppy dog. Let him have time with the guys, without you being there or showing up at some point. To tag along to every little thing he does isn't healthy. Tagging along to everything thing your boyfriend does, probably makes his friends, a little uncomfortable, especially when they want their guy time and you're the only girl and they don't want you to feel awkward or left out. Or his family wants to spend time with just him and catch up.

Do things apart from each other, so when you are together you have stories to tell and pictures to show them.

Speaking of doing things apart from each other. Don't let an amazing opportunity slip away because you have to spend time away from your boyfriend. Did I leave my boyfriend to do the Disney College Program, hell yes I did. Am I going to apply again in August or maybe January? Hell yes, I am. Don't be afraid to explore things without him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because you never know when you might get a great opportunity again.

Learning to do things alone is scary, I get it. But don't base your schedule around his, I've seen so many girls do this and it just back fries in the end. Unless you have kids, you do not plan your schedules around him or know where he is at every single second.

You never know, one day he might not be there anymore, and if you're always with your boyfriend and forgetting about friends and family, you might not have them either. And then what? Who do you depend on?

I wish you all would learn to depend on yourself before you depend completely on your boyfriend for everything. You are capable of so many things alone. You might feel like your boyfriend completes you and makes you whole, but in reality, you were already complete without him. He's just an added bonus. Don't give up your friends, family, and life because you want to be attached at the hip. You might lose more than you gain by doing that.

This goes for couples who have been dating for all lengths of time. It could be six months or six years.

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