The movie theater is a wonderful place. It smells of fake butter; the people there are reluctant to smile; there’s every kind of gunk on the floor when you walk in; the projector has been flickering for the last thirty minutes; oh my lord, the projector just flipped the movie upside down. Now, someone has to go have that awkward chat with the manager who’s absolutely going to yell at the poor 17-year-old operator who gets paid next to nothing to make sure that this exact thing doesn’t happen. Nobody wants to go have that chat, so now you have to go have it. You sigh and kick a Milk Dud on the floor as you’re walking out, only to have it stick and now jut from the front of your shoe like the worst shoe knife ever.

Okay, maybe I lied, maybe the movie theater’s not such a great place after all. It’s a place to go when you want to see the newest movies, sure, but with the advent of newer and newer movie-watching technology, why would you ever want to leave your house? I much prefer the home movie watching experience to the theater.

When I go to my front room and sit down on the couch, a movie is only a few clicks of the remote away and, depending on the service, I may not have to pay anything at all! What a world! I can bring all the blankets I want down to my couch and wrap myself up, and no one is gonna give me the side eye for doing it because it’s my house! I can warm up some of the stinkiest food I can imagine. I can make myself a nice Limburger cheese and durian sandwich, sit on my couch and enjoy a movie, and no one is going to growl at me or plug their nose.

I can also watch whatever I want. I can put in my copy of the "Star Wars Holiday Special" and watch Chewbacca’s family growl at each other with no subtitles, and that’s just fine. I can also say whatever I want, however loud I want to say it. I can laugh freely and loudly as I want, and I can comment on things about the movie that stink, and if my friends are over, we can have a long drawn out conversation about something that may or may not even be related to the movie and nobody is gonna turn around with their kids and shush us. If my friend and I decide that this movie is bad, and not in a good way, we can eject the disk or click the back button and pick something else. There’s absolutely no reason for someone to sit in a dark theater and be quiet while watching a movie besides the fact that the theaters have first-run rights on most movies.

In all honesty, the most fun I’ve ever had watching a movie is at my home watching some bad movie, enjoying each other’s company and enjoying the movie at the same time. It’s a social experience that really makes the movie come alive.