Growing up, I was a somewhat anxious child when it came to big moments like the first day of the school year or opening night of the play, but I wouldn’t say I was naturally anxious. Fast-forward to present day, and I would change my answer.
I can’t pinpoint an exact moment when it started. I just know that during my freshmen year in college I changed. I was more stressed out about homework and deadlines than I was previously. Some may say, that it is just “an adjustment period” and you grow out of it, but I never did.
Anxiety is different for everyone, but for me, my biggest fear is failure. During my college days, I was so afraid of failing all my classes, disappointing my parents, and not getting my degree that I pushed myself much harder than what was probably healthy (mentally and physically). I would be sitting in class or with friends, not 100% present, thinking about all I had to get done. It was common for me to feel a tightness in my chest like I was suffocating, even though all I had to do was take a breath. I had a consistant overwhelming feeling the world was going to crash around me.
Unfortunately, my anxiety graduated with me. As I am working towards my goals, I am terrified of the future. I am afraid of failing on a larger scale by not getting a job and not being able to move forward in my adult life. As a result, I overthink and over-analyze on a regular basis.
People have different methods for coping with anxiety. It is a personal journey, but just know I have taken the safe path to try to cope; some days I have success and other days are complete failures. It’s a work in progress.
I wish I could say it stops. Maybe it does for some people, and I just haven’t gotten there yet. Whatever happens in life, if you suffer from anxiety, talk to someone and seek professional help.