We all experience anxiety. Sometimes before a big test or before we have to give a presentation. However, for me and 40 million other adults in the United States with anxiety disorders; anxiety is a part of everyday life and can affect the way we make decisions and choose to live our lives.
Growing up, I didn't have the words for how my life felt different from others. I figured everyone experienced life like I did, they just handled it better than me. As a white, cisgender, straight, female, there was (and is) plenty of representation for me — especially in the young adult (YA) genre — but I could never fully relate to the fearless teenage protagonists. I could fantasize my way into their shoes, of course. I could imagine how it felt to be able to talk to someone you liked without stumbling over your words, to change plans last minute, and not feeling the rush in your head of the consequences, or leave for school in the morning without scrutinizing every ounce of their appearance to ensure they wouldn't stand out in any way, good or bad.
It wasn't until I read "Saving Juliet" by Suzanne Selfors that I found a protagonist that thought about life the way I did. "Saving Juliet" isn't necessarily a special book, it has a fairly typical YA plot line with a Shakespearean twist. However, the main character, Mimi, feels out of control of her life. Her mother stole her choice of career, future, and money from her.
While this situation would certainly give anyone anxiety and Mimi was not stated to suffer from anxiety problems, the other character's treatment of her mirrored much how anxiety disorders are dealt with in real life. Her mother is convinced she is faking it for attention or to get out of acting as Juliet (the career I mentioned above). Many of the other actors believe she doesn't deserve the role, while others side with her mother that it is all an act. A few characters do treat her sympathetically, recognizing that when she got sick before shows it was more than just nervousness or an act.
Reading this portrayal of a teenage girl who got physically sick from stress, made me realize that's what was happening to me. Stress almost always has physical symptoms and under extreme stress, everyone experiences what it is like to live with constant anxiety. However, seeing the character make decisions based on avoiding her symptoms and anxiety, as well as trying to get someone to recognize it was more than just nervousness that was making her sick that made Mimi's portrayal more realistic as someone with anxiety.
As I've gotten older, there have been more books written about/with main characters with anxiety. I've also learned where to seek those books out. However, anxiety and mental illness, in general, are still very taboo topics in YA literature. Books like "Speak," by Laurie Halse Anderson, which deals with rape and mental illness, began to break the barriers of YA literature twenty years ago. It was only 2017 when John Green's "Turtles All The Way Down" accurately represented a teenage girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Representation not only comforts those who do not receive representation, but it also helps breed empathy and understanding with those who are well represented. This is why representation, not just of mental health issues, but of race, sexuality, nationality, etc. is important to me and many other people who don't often find themselves represented in the media they consume growing up.