Some of you may remember an article that went viral in January of 2017 that addressed anxiety in relationships. Because of the weird time period that we live in where some people are solely seeking hookups and others want a dedicated relationship, but you cannot distinguish between the two, relationships can bring forth crippling anxiety. Kristen Corley, the author of the anxiety article, really portrayed how I feel every time a guy shows interest in me.

To start off with a quote by Corley,

"Anxiety is anticipating the worst in people, even though you have the best intentions. It’s caring but the insecurity of caring too much."

It has felt as though the exact moment I begin to care too much about a guy I am talking to, things turn south. The guys reveal that they are just looking to have sex, actually have a girlfriend, or have some major issues. Anxiety tells me that this guy does not actually like me because I am not worth it or that they are only trying to use me for a time being.

Corley describes having anxiety in a relationship as hoping that your relationship does not end like every past relationship you have had. It is this fear that the guy you currently like is just like that one jerk you were interested in eons ago. For people like me, once you do or say something, no matter how small, and it is similar to something they have done, my anxiety builds up.

Those double texts I send, waiting a few hours in between, it is not because I crave your constant attention, it is because I am afraid that in that short period of time, you have realized that you dislike me. It is that fear that you somehow met someone new and better. But then a new feeling of anxiety sets in--the anxiety I feel when maybe I have come on too strong and gone too far.

My anxiety keeps me quiet and humble when I first meet someone, yet it also is the demise of my relationship. Until the day I find someone who is understanding and accepting, anxiety will be something I struggle with.

In ending my relation to this wonderfully crafted article by Kristen, I would like to leave you with a final quote and a revelation.

"It’s an ending that emotionally destroys you. It’s trying to handle it with grace and dignity but at the same time, you’re in tears wondering, when things changed and what you did wrong. It’s beating yourself up for it, even when your friends tell you, it was him not you."

No matter what your anxiety makes you believe, it was never you. You were not the issue. You were amazing. They did not value and cherish you for who you were and that is their problem, not yours.