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There is a large spectrum of anxiety, from minor to intense, but no matter what intensity, anxiety is not easy to live with. Having anxiety impacts nearly every part of a person's day, whether they realize it or not. It's when you start overthinking every single spoken or written word, it's bombing exams because the fear of failing overtakes you, it's losing relationships because without loving yourself, it feels impossible to love another.

To put it bluntly, anxiety sucks, but it does not lessen your worth.

Anxiety is not something easily identifiable to the human eye. It takes trust to tell another that you are diagnosed with anxiety. It also takes even more trust to tell that same person that you're on medication for your anxiety.

Anxiety is not something that can just "go away." It is something that fades, and unfortunately most likely will come back. In fact, relapse is almost more terrifying than the initial diagnosis. You know something is wrong, but you don't want to admit it. You don't want to admit that you're right back where you started.

Panic attacks are the absolute worse. You know that no matter what you're getting upset over is most likely not worth it, but to you, it is. You start shaking, your breathing starts getting shorter and you can't get a full breath. The tears come faster and harder, your head starts pounding because the tears and rapid breathing is too much for you. You can't help but curl into a ball, unable to open up to the world. You start having flashbacks to your previous panic attacks and why they happened, and they make you worry even more. Eventually, you calm down. It may be in five minutes, it may be thirty minutes, it may be longer. Eventually, you come back around. Then finally, you can breathe and see clearly again. But, that does not stop the fear that there may be another panic attack right around the corner.

Anxiety is not an easy thing to live with. But, it's not impossible to live with either. It is manageable, with some practice. You can learn how to relax. Find something to distract yourself, whether it be Netflix or working out, maybe it's even taking a nap. Find something to distract yourself and put your whole life into perspective.

That job you just lost?

It's not worth as much as your college education.

Now, that test you just failed?

That's more important than a job.

Good grades can earn scholarships, those scholarships pay for school, a part-time job can only get you so far. Have friends that flaked out on you?

If they were true friends, they'd be there for you. You're going to lose people through your life, and that's okay. They had their purpose, but now it's time to move forward and find your own purpose.

You'll meet people who truly love you and care for you and support you; those are the ones you want around.

Take it from me; anxiety sucks. But, it's not impossible to live with. You got this. Keep calm and carry on.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

Emily Henrichs

Emily Henrichs Jul 16, 2018

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.

These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

Emily Henrichs

Emily Henrichs Jul 16, 2018

At Illinois State University

Take a Breath, Because Your Anxiety Doesn't Define You No More Than Anything Else Does

Having anxiety sucks. There's really no other way to put it.

Sydney Mueller

Sydney Mueller Jul 16, 2018

170

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Feeling yourself slowly slip away from reality and lose the ability to think straight is something no one should have to endure, yet millions of Americans have it. People from different childhoods, different memories, and different stresses all united by one common enemy: anxiety.

And that's what anxiety is, an enemy. There's a constant battle between its demons and positivity inside someone's mind. When anxiety wins, it seems like a nightmare come true at times.

It's almost impossible to describe anxiety to someone who doesn't have it. Those moments when all of the sudden you can't think straight, there's a faint buzzing in your head that grows louder and louder the more you try to tune it out, and the overwhelming desire to crawl up into a corner, turn off the lights and avoid anything and everything isn't an easy thing to communicate.

And the symptoms are different for everyone. Anxiety isn't identical from one person to the next; there are different triggers that set off a different array of emotions. For those of you who don't suffer from these attacks, please know one thing: we don't have total control over ourselves during these moments. For me, nothing makes sense in the midst of an anxiety attack. The more I try to think through everything happening in my head, the more confusion swarms my thoughts.

But, despite all of these moments where it feels like some invisible walls are crashing down around you, anxiety does not make you any less of a person. Anxiety is one piece to the complex puzzle that makes you, you. For all of the times filled with fear, anger or frustration, you can wake up the next morning a little bit a calmer with a much better frame of mind. Even though anxiety can sneak up on you at the strangest times, it makes you know that you can survive almost anything that is thrown at you.

But, no matter how many inner fights you're facing or how many anxiety attacks you've suffered, you're the same person you were yesterday and will be tomorrow. If anything, you're a little bit better because you survived another moment you thought you couldn't.

Cover Image Credit:

Hailey Reed

Sydney Mueller

Sydney Mueller Jul 16, 2018

At Villanova University

Yes, Anxiety Sucks But It Is Not Impossible To Deal With