Anxiety Feels Like Living With The Calm Before The Storm
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Anxiety Feels Like Living With The Calm Before The Storm

It's the days where you feel on top of the world, only to feel like the world is on top of you the next day.

250
Anxiety Feels Like Living With The Calm Before The Storm
Unsplash

Anxiety. We all hear about it as being this regular inconvenience experienced by many. People even make jokes about it, like it's something so common and easy to deal with, like a paper cut. However, what those who are blessed to not have to suffer from anxiety every day of their lives don't know is that this runs far deeper than a paper cut.

I have dealt with mild to moderate anxiety for as long as I can remember. It has always been pretty manageable and I have led an amazing, fulfilling life so far even with it.

However, there have also been times where it hasn't been so manageable.

My anxiety really didn't become an issue until I hit the 3rd grade. I was just this small, shy child who couldn't understand why she would suffer from frequent dizzy spells or sometimes feel these waves of panic for no apparent reason. I remember the day I had my first full-blown panic attack:

It was during a movie event for the whole elementary school. We were all packed into the darkened auditorium where we were watching E.T.(that movie choice alone was enough to make me anxious) and all of a sudden, I started feeling panicky, shaky, and sweaty. I also started to have a cloudy vision and felt nauseous. I somehow managed to climb over the whole row of kids and ran out the doors of the auditorium.

I remember so vividly trying to drink some water from the water fountain in the lobby to calm myself down, but I was too weak. I collapsed on the floor, trembling with panic. Luckily, one of the teachers who was walking out of the auditorium at that time found me and ran me down to the nurse's office. My dad immediately came and took me home. I was fine, the nurses said, but that was the beginning of a long, bumpy road of appointments to figure out what was going on.

And to think that at the time the only thing I was upset about was that I had lost my new, heart-shaped blue earrings.

While my peers were at playdates, I was at psychology appointments. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder-big shocker there-but it was a good thing, though, since I learned how to manage my anxiety naturally and practiced different techniques to calm myself down. Life then continued on as normal and I learned how to manage both life and anxiety.

However, living with anxiety is like being at the mercy of the weather. You never know when you'll go from having a week of sunshine to a week of storms. It can come on with no warning, and sometimes for no reason at all, just like thunder.

Being a soon-to-be college graduate, to be honest, my anxiety is at the worst it's probably ever been in my life and I work hard every day to persevere through it. Some days I just want to scream due to the amount of stress and frustration I'm under, between finishing my required classes, applying for jobs, figuring out where I want to live, etc. There is so much pressure at this point in time and having to deal with anxiety on top of everything else can be difficult.

Anxiety is a complicated disorder, one that can affect you in many ways:

It's the days where you feel on top of the world, only to feel like the world is on top of you the next day.

It's feeling lethargic, tired, and weak for days on end, where even simple tasks such as brushing your hair feels as difficult as running a marathon.

It's also being able to get up at dawn, workout, get ready, and take on the day. Completing your assignments on time and maintaining good grades.

It's feeling like you're going to amount to nothing in life because you have let so many people's harsh criticisms get to you, triggering your own harsh self-criticisms.

It's also feeling like you have control of your life and are on your way to a great future with nothing stopping you, not opinions, not criticisms, not anything.

It's feeling like you're trapped in a box with no air in social situations, having to hide it the best you can to appear fine to everyone around you.

It's also joining friends for lunch in the crowded dining hall and talking and laughing with each other, feeling completely at ease.

It's mentally replaying conversations and interactions over and over again because you feel like everything you do and say comes across as awkward and weird.

It's also having an amazing night out with your friends and boldly going up to that cute someone to strike up a conversation, feeling confident and powerful.

It's not being able to get out of bed or even get dressed some days, where the only thing you will wear is sweats and you could give less of a crap about your appearance and responsibilities.

It's also being able to jump out of bed some days, get dolled up, and feel energetic and free.

It's remembering only the terrible parts of your past, and the dreading of what's to come.

It's also looking back proudly at all you have accomplished and feeling excited about the future.

It's part of my life.

However, I have not let anxiety keep me from accomplishing my goals, enjoying my life, and taking on every day with a positive attitude. I know that this is just an issue that I have to work through, and I am grateful for everyone in my life who has supported me.

Anxiety is no joke. And more people actually have it than one might think. Those of us with anxiety just try not to show it and appear as if everything is perfect, but no one's life is perfect and everyone is going through some difficulty in one form or another.

If you know someone with anxiety, don't tell them to change or to "stop worrying so much", it's beyond their control and they honestly can't just make it go away. All you can do is just be understanding and supportive.

If you are personally dealing with anxiety, know that there are resources out there to help you. And don't get angry at people who think they can "cure you" by telling you to "calm down" or "just stop it," let them know that it's something you need time to work through. And above all, remember,

You don't have to do this alone.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58196
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37490
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959124
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

192992
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments