In truth, many thought my depression and anxiety was developed due to my father's passing. Although this had some truth to it. If I am being honest with myself, that is not truly where it began. I have decided I am finally ready to talk about this with my 100% honesty.

I developed my severe depression in middle school. I was overweight in middle school and did get bullied for it. I hated every bit of myself and ate to help ease the pain, but sadly it made me gain more weight, the bullying got worse, which lead to my depression getting worse. I never felt good enough, smart enough or pretty enough. I hated myself, and some days many years later, I still struggle with my confidence.

My anxiety started in 8th grade. As many know, anxiety and depression go hand and hand. My anxiety came from my first relationship which in truth had its very abusive points. I wont get into this as many people who see this will disagree or argue, but they never saw what happened behind closed doors. I

grew more and more anxious. But every break up would lead to us getting back together because I thought he was the only guy who could ever love me. I learned I was wrong.

I had to learn to love myself and be happy with myself. Although some days I still struggle with this, I try my best to smile and think positive thoughts.

Along this way, I have encountered many bullies, friends, fake friends and people who became family. Fake friends and bullies have not helped but have taught me many lessons about how to handle things differently.

I have struggled on and off for many years with this. I am happy I have put it out there. But one thing I have to try to constantly remind myself is, I will never let anxiety and depression control me. Anyone who has anxiety or depression will tell you having one or the other is hard, having both is hell, and dealing with it can get complicated. But Anxiety and Depression, I will never let you beat me.