Anxiety Controlled My Life In Ways They Never Tell You

Anxiety Controlled My Life In Ways They Never Tell You

Yes, it is a real thing.

I have always had bad anxiety ever since I was little kid. Everyone thought I was just this shy kid who didn't want to talk, but I actually did want to. When your a little kid in elementary school you don't really have much to be anxious about, yet I moved to so many schools from the time I was in Kindergarten until tenth grade, I had to be "that new kid" almost every August.

As I got older, my anxiety became to get worse and worse, to the point in ninth grade I started to make myself so sick I could not go to school for a week every month!

Now, you're probably thinking what does this have to do with the title well, here it is.

For months my mom made appointments with all sorts of doctors trying to figure out what the heck was going on with me. It took the ninth doctor I saw to figure out what I have: Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. When the doctor told us this we had no clue what that was, that it scared me so badly.

Every month I would build so much anxiety inside of me that I would cause this disorder to happen.

Every week that I would have this, every symptom would happen in this order: aching in my left hand, to vomiting for either hours or two days, to god knows how many fevers, and end with a cold.

Weird, right?

That basically every "common" sickness a person can get I would get for a whole week. As I got into my Junior and Senior year of high school my disorder started to fade to the point where I would get it maybe a few days for one month in the whole year. Yet as I started college with the second month and third I was getting it once a month for a whole week. Every time I have to explain what is going on, everyone goes "just take a deep breath", " oh you'll probably sleep it off", "is that even a real thing". Well taking deep breaths would help in the beginning yet you never know when that first symptom is going to happen, and sleeping it off does nothing, and yes it is a real thing and no you can not fake it. So living with CVS has shown me that living with anxiety is a bigger deal than most people think.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

Living Life With A Chronic Illness No One Can See

Sometimes what people can't see is the hardest to explain.

You never really expect that it will happen to you. My sister has one, so I thought one in the family was enough. But sure enough, when I was a junior in high school, I was diagnosed with a chronic skin condition.

It made my skin horribly painful to be in, and I decided I hated my own body for attacking me and leaving me defenseless. What was worse was there is no cure for my condition and barely any research on the subject. It’s hard to explain to other people and downright embarrassing. It almost looks like an STD and is horribly difficult to show other people, so I barely have.

One of the only known ways of preventing it is to not wear tight clothing. In high school, my school uniform was khaki pants that were not breathable, and you could see if I bled through them. I got a doctor's note to be able to wear yoga pants, but that left me vulnerable for people’s stares and questions as to why I got to wear yoga pants. Explaining to people that under my pants and shirts I was exposed to basically raw skin was not going to fly, so I opted for laughing along to their comments or the ever so simple “injury” excuse.

It wasn’t until I found a Facebook page with people who were also struggling that I finally felt not alone. Through the Facebook page, I have found solutions to this problem that other people have tried and tested and I have in turn tried and tested also. Since few doctors know what it is, I have tried every dermatologist possible for some sort of solution.

With the extreme option being a skin graft, I have had to seriously contemplate my life decisions, such as going back to school. I go to school in an area where there aren’t many doctors and the dermatologist came one Friday a month. Safe to say I didn’t choose the best option for my care.

It comes and goes in terms of severity, so I have had months of feeling great followed by weeks of barely being able to move. Although it seems like there’s nothing to be done, I have worked to educate my own doctors and seek treatment plans. I have fundraised for research and donated to other causes that might help provide relief for my condition and others suffering.

At the end of the day, it makes me stronger and makes me a fighter.

Cover Image Credit: Caroline Jaros

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If Disney Is Serious About Inclusion, They Should Introduce A Disabled Princess

Who says all princesses need to be able-bodied?

What does every Disney princess have in common? At least one dead parent? No. A beautiful singing voice? No...well, yes. But the other main thing that all Disney princesses share is that they are able-bodied.

According to the United States Census, about 20% of the population has some sort of disability, whether it be physical or mental. If a significant portion of the country (and the world, as well), is disabled, why hasn't Disney reflected this in their movies? It's not like people with disabilities are hard to find!

I have had a severe movement disorder for most of my life, and have even been confined to a wheelchair for months at a time because of this. I've never seen somebody like me in a movie, and as a child that was the one thing, I always wanted.

Having characters in movies with disabilities lets people know that their struggles are not theirs alone; there are other people with similar problems out there.

Having Disney princess with a disability would not only help disabled children feel less alone but would also allow able-bodied children to get a glimpse of what being handicapped is like. Maybe it would even revolutionize how the world treats the disabled!

Just imagine a princess with Tourette's Syndrome that has problems keeping her muscles under control. She's quiet because she doesn't want to draw attention to herself, but finally learns to speak up after meeting quirky animal sidekicks!

Or how about a princess in a wheelchair who really wants to play basketball, but can't? Then, a few catchy musical numbers later, joins the Paralympics!

And why stop with physical disabilities? There's never been a Disney princess on the autism spectrum, but why not? She could have trouble communicating with those around her, but learns how to help people understand her in what would be a hit animated movie!

Disney princesses have been designed to fit a certain prototype for too long now. For the children who grew up feeling misunderstood or lonely because they've never seen someone with a disability like theirs, for everybody who has ever come in contact with a disabled person and didn't know what to do, and for the parents of disabled children who don't know how to explain what their child is going through, make my vision a reality!

Cover Image Credit: Thomas Kelley

Related Content

Facebook Comments