Anxiety Controlled My Life In Ways They Never Tell You

Anxiety Controlled My Life In Ways They Never Tell You

Yes, it is a real thing.

I have always had bad anxiety ever since I was little kid. Everyone thought I was just this shy kid who didn't want to talk, but I actually did want to. When your a little kid in elementary school you don't really have much to be anxious about, yet I moved to so many schools from the time I was in Kindergarten until tenth grade, I had to be "that new kid" almost every August.

As I got older, my anxiety became to get worse and worse, to the point in ninth grade I started to make myself so sick I could not go to school for a week every month!

Now, you're probably thinking what does this have to do with the title well, here it is.

For months my mom made appointments with all sorts of doctors trying to figure out what the heck was going on with me. It took the ninth doctor I saw to figure out what I have: Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. When the doctor told us this we had no clue what that was, that it scared me so badly.

Every month I would build so much anxiety inside of me that I would cause this disorder to happen.

Every week that I would have this, every symptom would happen in this order: aching in my left hand, to vomiting for either hours or two days, to god knows how many fevers, and end with a cold.

Weird, right?

That basically every "common" sickness a person can get I would get for a whole week. As I got into my Junior and Senior year of high school my disorder started to fade to the point where I would get it maybe a few days for one month in the whole year. Yet as I started college with the second month and third I was getting it once a month for a whole week. Every time I have to explain what is going on, everyone goes "just take a deep breath", " oh you'll probably sleep it off", "is that even a real thing". Well taking deep breaths would help in the beginning yet you never know when that first symptom is going to happen, and sleeping it off does nothing, and yes it is a real thing and no you can not fake it. So living with CVS has shown me that living with anxiety is a bigger deal than most people think.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things. If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity towards this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you, if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Truth Bomb: If You Say Addiction 'Isn't A Disease,' You Can't Call Cancer Or STDs Diseases, Either

If addiction wasn't a disease, cancer wouldn't be one either.


If you think addiction isn't a disease, then you're probably just as big of a simple halfwit as I used to be.

Before I was enlightened by a friend on Facebook, I thought addiction wasn't a disease and I was dead set on believing so. This close-minded way of thinking got me nowhere, but now that I've opened my mind and began to understand what addiction actually is... I get it.

Most of the morons that think addiction is not a disease have a few arguments... one being you chose to pick up the needle/bottle/etc. Number two being you cannot get addicted if you just don't do drugs in the first place. Well, truth is, people choose to do a lot of things that give them diseases.

Let me ask you a few questions...

Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you have sex? Do you choose to do these things?

The answer to at least one of those questions is probably yes.

So, If your liver fails from drinking, am I allowed to say "you don't have a disease because you chose to drink, so I have no sympathy for you?"

Or can I tell you that (your) lung cancer isn't a disease because you have smoked for 10 plus years?

Maybe it would be OK if I told you that the STD you acquired from having sex isn't a disease, due to the fact that you totally chose to do that.

(I want to acknowledge that I know some men and women are forced into sexual relations, this does not apply to them in any way.)

Those few arguments utterly destroy "addiction is not a disease."

Next, I would like to say I do believe addiction is a choice, and the only way you get the disease is by trying it because you want to. But the reality of it is, people try a lot of things that could hurt them in some way. Whether it's driving a car and getting in a car accident, or swinging on a rope swing and breaking your leg.

Yes, you chose to do it. And yes, you still deserve medical help.

Everyone deserves help when they are struggling or in a low place. I can say this first hand. I live with an addict. I know how it works. I see the choices made, and it may begin as a choice, but whether you like it or not; it's a disease.

Related Content

Facebook Comments