Anxiety is a disorder that receives much attention but little understanding. It has become more and more popular to talk about, but not enough people know what it truly entails.
A few months ago my boyfriend sent me the following poem. It instantly brought tears to my eyes because it was the epitome of how it feels to suffer from anxiety. He knew.
Too Much
Do you remember the first time you were called annoying?
How your breath stopped short in your chest, the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze.
The way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue?
Your eyes never left the floor that day.
You were 13.
You're 20 now and I still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for "too long".
Apologies littering every other sentence, words trailing off a cliff you haven't jumped from in 7 years.
I could listen to you forever, though I know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
All I want you to know is that you deserve to be heard... for 3 minutes, for 10 minutes, for 3 hours, forever.
There will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart; mostly because they can't handle their own, but you will never be and have never been...
"too much".
- Tyler Ford
I am always feeling like I am "too much" or "not enough". Always feeling inadequate and overthinking every little thing. The smallest occurrences can feel like the end of the world; like the time I splattered olive oil on my shirt while cooking and I fell apart. There's nothing like being picked up off the kitchen floor and consoled over something so minuscule. Our anxiety can show in negative ways sometimes through our actions or behavior. We don't do it on purpose, we don't do it for the hell of it, I promise you that. Our anxiety makes us feel out of control.
Some people just don't understand because they have never experienced it in full force. When an episode occurs or a panic attack takes over, it is hard to explain what exactly you need from your loved ones. It can feel like the world is caving in.
For a friend or family member that suffers from anxiety, this may be the exact thing they need to hear from you, whether they're having a rough day or an anxiety filled week:
- "Breath. Deep breathe in, deep breath out."
- "You're stronger than your anxiety."
- "You are and always have been enough."
- "I love you, anxiety and all."
- "You're safe."
- "You can and will get through this."
- "I believe in you."
- "Don't let your thoughts consume you."
- "How can I help?"
- "You're not alone."
- "Take your time to feel better."
- "You're in control, not your anxiety."
- "Take a break if you need to."
- "You won't feel like this forever, this will pass."