Brace yourselves...Winter (and Christmas) is coming, or at least that's what the meme says. This honestly doesn’t mean much to me because for winter break, I get to go back home to the magical place where seasons never change: Florida. As the break nears, I find myself in too many conversations that begin with the question, “how do you deal with Christmas when it’s not cold outside?” Internally I answer: “uhhh I put my Christmas jammies on one leg at a time just like the rest of the population.” But I typically respond with, “oh haha I’m just used to it by now!” So for those of you who still wonder what on earth it’s like having a toasty holiday, I am here to elaborate!
- You start with a tree. Us classy Floridians make our way to the closest home improvement store or Publix (because yes, duh, our earthly heaven does indeed sell live(ish) trees) where we then argue over which tree (that of course is already shedding needles because it’s so dang hot outside) we should get. Even better? We typically make an attempt to get into the Christmas spirit by wearing a sweater. And then we start sweating. And then we get agitated. Which then makes us fiesty. Which makes the arguments over the tree that much more exciting. After a couple years of this, our families give up and decide to order a live tree online. After a couple years of unsatisfactory trees being delivered, we get on Amazon and search “fake Christmas tree”. It gets delivered along with some frasier fir room spray.
- The lights usually happen next, at least in my family. We typically start the decorating with the palm trees in the front yard. You’ll probably see us crazy Floridians putting them up in our red and green bathing suits because we tend to see every moment in the outdoors as an opportunity to tan. After about two trees, we succumb to the heat. Who really needs lights on the house anyways? We get back on amazon. Two days later, a Star Shower Laser Light Projector arrives. We stick it in the front yard and BOOM! Red and Green dots are projected onto the house. So festive!
- But what about the stockings hung by the chimney with care? And the chestnuts roasting on an open fire? I’m no amateur. I of course know there’s nothing quite like sipping hot chocolate out of your favorite festive mug while a fire crackles in the fireplace. So here’s what we do. We get on youtube and search “fire with Christmas music”. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W6koWS_sRI). We place the device we searched the fire on in front of the fireplace. Then, for the hot chocolate, we get back on Amazon. We search “frozen hot chocolate”. Serendipity’s is a classic. It arrives two days later. We can now sit by a fire and listen to the crackling without sweating and sip on a nice, cooling Christmas treat.
- Another key Christmas tradition is matching flannel PJ’s. Yes, we still wear them. The only stipulation is we turn the A/C down to 60 degrees so we can actually sleep in them without sweating. Lots of times we tend to knock the A/C down for the entirety of the holidays to put us in the spirit. It’s really so fun to wear longsleeves on the inside and then walk out to do something simple like grab the mail and immediately start sweating.
- Well what about fun winter activities like ice skating and playing in the snow? Ok seriously who likes to do things they aren’t good at? And what makes you think a native Floridian would be good at walking on ice when the thing we really succeed at is surviving life on what feels like the surface of the sun? Also, let’s think about ice skating for a second...you literally sweat while you shiver. I’ve mention sweating enough in this article for you to probably guess we avoid any type of activity that makes us sweat because stepping outside is enough. And as far as snow goes...I don’t enjoy being cold. I do enjoy going to the beach in December to make sandcastles that look like snowmen.
- And then we come to the dreaded question: what do your Holiday gatherings even look like? Let me start with the fashion aspect of these events. Much like Florida has no weather seasons, it also has no fashion seasons. Everyone straps on their favorite festive sundress or colored chino shorts and polos, which we probably found on a summer blowout sale online, and flip flops with holiday themed embroidery. You'll probably find us grilling outside or visiting on the front porch in rockers. Eventually the children at the party get a little antsy, and before you know it, you're judging cannonball contests at what has now turned into a pool party. Thankfully, you got on amazon two days ago and ordered some new red and green towels just in case this very situation transpired.
Anyways, I do understand that a hot Christmas is not the norm for the majority of the people I associate with, but I wouldn't have my Christmas any other way. Though I make jokes and exaggerate ever so slightly about the excessive sweating and Amazon ordering, there is no other way I would rather spend my holiday. What makes a holiday season wonderful is having a sense of home, whether it be in a physical place or with your people or even both. So I guess the best answer to "what it's like to have a hot Christmas?" is that it feels like Christmas. My home is Florida, its glorious heat, and my people who live there. I am so lucky I get to spend my holiday in the best way: with my very own sense of home.