To the people I've pushed away,
To start off this letter, I'm going to state a fact: I will no longer be apologizing for who I am and what I go through. You have made me feel awful about myself for too long.
After being diagnosed with an anxiety and depression disorder, my mental and emotional health went downhill. What most people don't know is that my self-image went on a downfall when I was diagnosed with bells palsy in 2013. Bells Palsy is defined as the paralysis of the facial nerve, causing muscular weakness in one side of the face. For me, this was awful. I was pretty much told that it could last anywhere from two weeks, to permanently; or anywhere in between. Unfortunately, mine is permanent.
Being diagnosed with all of this plays a major part in how I've pushed so many people away. I began this letter by explaining all of this to you to show you what I've gone through. Granted, it could always be worse, but that doesn't mean you have to leave. Yes, I talk horribly of myself, and yes, I believe you when you say I'm worthless. That's just how I am. Because of this, I believe that I will never find my worth and need a lot of help trying, so when you walk away, I don't want to keep trying.
So when I begin to push you away, please don't go, because I need you. I need your help. Again, this is not me apologizing for who I am. One day I will let you in, but until then just keep fighting for me because it will make all the difference in my life.
Thank you for trying to help me.