One day, a long time ago, I woke up. it was just like every other ordinary day. I had to get out of bed. I struggled. I had to wake up. It was difficult. I had to get my clothes around and get ready for work. I had to take a shower. I had to eat some quick breakfast so I'd make it out the door on time. I had to pack my lunch. I had to make sure the pets were fed. I had to put the dog out. And I had to make sure I had everything I needed.

It was no different than any other day I'd gone through over the past eight or nine or twenty years. Except for one thing.

And this story goes out to the ones who walked away.

You know who you are. You were once friends of mine that I hung out with. You were once people I called and talked to. You were once friends that I used to text. You were once people I'd known for five years, twenty years, or even as many as my entire life. You were people I could count on, I could lean on, I could talk to, and who would listen to me. You were friends. And you were family.

And this one goes out to you.

I'd love to call you one day and tell you all of the things you've missed. I'd love to call you and tell you about how I've done well with a new job, I'm making a difference, I finally put all of those degrees to work, and the eight years I was in college wasn't for nothing. I would love to show you pictures of my life today compared to what it was eight or nine years ago. I'd love to talk to you about my kids. I'd love to talk to you about my granddaughter. I'd love to share with you how many positive things have changed in life. And most importantly, I'd just like to give you a hug. But as you know, well, not that you really do know, because you're not reading this, it's just not possible. Because you're not part of my life any longer. You're not a family member any longer. You're not a friend any longer. You're not even part of the story I'm writing. This story.

And this one goes out to you.

Remember the last time we talked? I do. I remember everything about the last words we said. Some hurtful. Some angry. Some upset. Some filled with abusive language. Some just hateful. And I know. You'll continue to tell the world that it's my fault. You'll tell everyone that you know until the dying breath you take one day that it's all my fault. It's never anyone's fault but mine. I know. You won't take any blame for any mistakes. You wont' ever admit anything you've ever done wrong. You won't even be able to read this story. Because it's something I've wanted to write for so very long. This story.

And this one goes out to you.

For a long time, I carried around a lot of anger. I said some things I regret. I thought about you in ways that were totally wrong. There came a time in my life when I almost did something that I've never done. I almost hated you. But I never went there. And do you know why? Because that would make me just like you. And that's why I'm writing this story. To say all of the things I wanted to say in the past. To let go of all the hurt, anger and frustration that I ever wanted to talk about. And to just say what I felt in a story.

And this one goes out to you.

I can still remember all the good times we had. i can still remember all of the conversations we shared. I can still remember the concerts we talked about. I can still remember the stories we shared. I can still remember all of the things you told me. I can still remember all of the things you taught me. And that's all of what I'm putting in this story. Because it's all I have left to remember you by. This story.

And this one goes out to you.

It's a hard thing to do. Put down your feelings onto a piece of paper. On a computer screen. To let all of the emotions flow, the memories go, and all of the feelings loose. It hurts. I won't deny that. But I've come to realize no matter the hurt, no matter the anger, no matter how upset and frustrated I am, I've moved on. I'm doing so much better now today than I ever was. I have a wonderful family. I have a great job. I'm making a difference in the world. I'm doing good things. And guess what? Almost 15 years on, thanks to you, I'm still officiating sports. All these years, I'm still meeting new people. I'm still moving forward. I'm still making changes. And I'm still writing that life story. This one.

And this one goes out to you.

You were that friend I used to hang out with. You were that family member I used to talk to. You were that person I used to go to. You were the one I could trust. You were the one I could show up at any time day or night and knock on the door and know you'd always open it. You were the one who would always pick up the phone. You were the one that would always be there for me. And you were the one that would always tell me a story. So now I'm telling my story.

And this one goes out to you.

I still think back to all of those criticizing things you said to me. I still think back through the years of how harshly you judged me. I still remember all of the angry things you said to me. I still remember all of the blame you put on me. And sadly, I'd be willing to bet that today, you still do the same. You are still that angry family member, that upset friend that pretends I don't exist, or that person that was once in my life that tries to pretend that I was never there. But I was. I was part of your story. And you are part of my story. Even today.

And this one goes out to you.

I can sit here, read these words, and I can smile. I can get angry. i can get upset. I can want to cry. But I don't do any of those things. I just sit here. And I shake my head in sadness. Because I realize how all things have changed. And how you have changed. And how I have changed. I can sit here and shake my head in sadness. There is no anger. There is no frustration. There is no hurt. There is just a story.

And this one goes out to you.

You were that father that I no longer have. You were that girlfriend that I can no longer remember. You were that friend that I used to like that I have no clue where you are living today. You were that neighbor I liked to laugh with, joke with, and share life stories with. You were that brother that I grew up with. You were that sister I used to pick on and then as we grew older, used to take to concerts. You were that friend I used to trust. You were that coworker that I used to call. You were that person I used to hang out with and drink beer with. And now, you are nothing more than a small part of a story.

And this one goes out to you.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I see something in the sky that reminds me of you. I see a picture on my wall that makes me think of you. I look in the mirror, and think about how many times people haves aid I look just like you. I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you. I play something on my guitar that brings a smile to my face because it was one of the first songs I listened to with you. I go to a concert of a band i still love to this day, and remember all of the times I saw them in the past with you. I sit on my computer and think about emails and instant messages I used to send to you. And I sit here, knowing that there is nothing left of that except this story I write.

And this one goes out to you.

I sit here hoping that you are doing well. I sit here and say a small prayer that one day you will forgive me for the things I've done and the things I've said. i sit here and ask God to accept my apologies, and hope that I'm a better person today than I was five years ago, ten years ago, or twenty years ago when we stopped talking or started pretending that we didn't exist anymore. And I sit here, writing this story, remembering all of the good memories that we had, all of the stories we shared, and all of the life that we experienced. And I realize that, as I say goodbye at the end of this story, that is all I have. This story.

And this one goes out to you.

Goodbye. Godspeed, God willing, and may you achieve everything you've ever wanted in life. I just wish you could read this so you'd know that this is the story I wrote.

And this one goes out to you.