Of all of the professors you will have during your four years at university, failure is often the best teacher

Out of all the classes I've taken in school, and the numerous teachers I've had, there's only one that's taught me more than the rest, and that's failure. As a student at the College of William and Mary, where tension for academic rigor is strikingly high among the community, I became part of the mindset that anything less than perfection simply wasn't good enough.

If anyone reading this knows anything, it's that perfection is unattainable, so you can guess where my mental state was about halfway through school when my GPA was teetering at the brink of a 3.0 and my mental health was at its all-time lowest. Looking back, if I had not failed in the areas of my life that I had, I wouldn't know where to look to improve and take care of myself. Just like our brain triggers a sensation of pain when something in our body is wrong, we experience failure where there are deficits.

What I did not know at the time was that I was (and still am) plagued by Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD or ADHD), which many young women are now being diagnosed with due to the issue being overlooked when we were younger. I also did not really know the name of what else had control of my mind, almost with more agency over my actions than I did. Since I did not know its name, I couldn't fight it back. It's like lore in fantasy realms, "Names have power." Spoiler alert: It's anxiety.

When I was in high school, I was near the top of my class as an IB student, a captain of the color guard in the marching band, and extremely active in community service on my own. Much like everyone else, I found that this would not transfer over to university pretty quickly after my first year came to a close. My finishing GPA was a whopping 2.78 and my self-confidence was a fabulous -2 on a scale from one to ten.

While I did not fail out of any classes, I was absolutely certain in my mind that I was a failure, and that stuck with me throughout the entire summer when I couldn't apply for internships because of one number. Rationally, I knew I was smart, but on paper, one little number kept me from furthering my career, or what I thought I wanted that career to be. I had a one-track mind, and my job-train being derailed from my academic "failures" took me on a mental health roller coaster that slammed me around, in terms of self-confidence.

Ultimately, the things I did not succeed in helped push me in the right direction for me. My failings forced me to think about how badly I wanted certain things, like the job I had my eye on, and the major I started out with, and why I "wanted" them in the first place. Was I in this major to fulfill expectations of others?

Did I have my eye on the same job throughout high school and the beginning of college because I thought deviation was akin to quitting? Was the ONLY reason I put myself through classes I truly disliked to get a degree I really wasn't sure about? Yes, to all of the above.

However, I wouldn't have known that I was going down a road for someone else if I hadn't tripped up, and boy did I trip numerous times. The setbacks forced me to question what I was doing, and for what reasons. I found that those reasons were not good enough and weren't beneficial for my life.

So, here I am, many failings behind me, to say that it is ok to fail. More than that, I encourage failure (to an extent). Just like pain in the body is a signal that something is wrong, so too is failure a signal when there may need to be change in your life. Get a low grade in a class? It may be time to re-evaluate your study habits. Having consistently poor performance in your courses overall?

It may be time to re-think your course of study and whether you want to pursue related careers. Are you completely unhappy in your university life? It may be time to rethink your institution and choices of who you surround yourself with.

However, in order for failure to be the best teacher, you have to be able to take the lessons from it to rebuild yourself.

There is ALWAYS something to take away from failures. While college/university is in no way mandatory to have a successful life, the purpose is self-enrichment, along with building academic strength and professional skills. In all honesty, I didn't even get into any of the schools I had wanted and worked so hard for in high school, I was waitlisted everywhere except for my safety school. I was able to transfer to one of my top choice schools halfway through freshman year, but you can bet I struggled hard with my self-worth.

However, because of that, I truly appreciate my time here far more than I would have if I got in the first time. I really had to work for that admission, and looking back on it, I am very proud of what I've accomplished.

Yet, failures didn't just magically end there. For the first couple of semesters, I absolutely did not feel enriched. I was anxious and depressed and my academic performance suffered, but with some serious prodding from my friends, I looked at the symptoms with a critical and honest eye, and began to address the problem, step by step (this is the crucial part: it takes time). I am now properly treated for my ADD and anxiety, and my life is considerably better for it. I would not have known about these issues had I not failed and pushed to learn something from it.

Nobody's lives are identical, and every issue has a unique course of action to reach a resolution, but obstacles caused by failures are part of life and allow each of us to gain skills and insights into ourselves we would not otherwise have. It's part of being human to take up that broken mantle and rebuild it into something better.

Happy rebuilding!