Dear you,
Losing a mother is one of the hardest obstacles that you will ever go through and I know exactly what you have gone through myself...
Last September, I lost my mother to lung cancer that spread throughout her body to her brain. She put up quite a fight and her strength was inspiring. She was the kind of person who never gave up on her family or herself and always put others first. She was and always will be the most selfless person I was blessed to know for 19 years of my life. A mother is the first person you meet when you come into this world, they're your first best friend and role model. They help you grow up in the most beautiful way and are there for you through every obstacle that you may face. Losing someone like that, is something that could never be understood.
Looking back, my mother was the best person that I ever knew. She made me into the person I am today. She taught me everything about life, love, friendship, and faith in God. She gave me so much strength to get through the obstacles in this crazy roller coaster that we call life. Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on or an open ear she listened and comforted me in every disappointment or good time. I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your mom in your most crucial years of needing love and words of encouragement.
As you continue throughout your life without her, I have learned that it is more than okay to grieve and to move on in life, with your mother living through you because that's what she'd want you to do...
It is OK to cry
Crying is good for the soul and it gets out all of your emotions, instead of bottling them up. It's certainly not for the weak, it's for the strongest people.
She won't be there for your graduation from college and high school, wedding day, first real job, or first child of your own.
These will be some of the greatest moments of your life and she won't be there with you to celebrate them. She won't be there waving at you or giving you that big hug as you walk down the isle. You won't look out into the audience and see her with the video camera, or crying at how happy she is for you. Thinking about the effects of her not being there for your future gives you chills through your entire body.
Holidays will never be the same and they will feel like a shot to the heart
As you sit there on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc she won't be there to celebrate with you and your family. My mother was the light of every holiday and always brought so much joy to my family and I. Your family will laugh at their memories and always make her a part of the holidays as if she is still there. You'll remember her always her cooking and her traditions that will be passed on forever.
You will be jealous of those who still have their moms in their lives
Everywhere you go, you'll see children with their mothers shopping together, getting food, laughing and smiling together and you will feel a heaviness on your heart thinking that was once you and your mom.
You become so close to your siblings and other family members
When you lose your mom, you will find that you lean on your siblings and family members a lot. They understand what you're going through and are the best support systems in the world during this extremely difficult time. You grow together in more ways than you ever thought possible and protect one another a lot more. You appreciate them as they are parts of your mom as well.
Heartbreak hurts even more
Your first heartbreak and the many more heartbreaks will be like an open wound at times. Your mother won't be there to help you through it. She won't be there to tell you that everything will be okay like she once was. When tears are falling down your face, she will not be there to wipe them or hold you in her arms.
You constantly wonder if you're making her proud
When you do the right thing or get a really good grade you think to yourself... "I wonder if I'm making her proud."
Most importantly, you grow in ways that you would never thought were possible
You think to yourself how far you have come since the day that she passed away. How much stronger of a person you've become and how much more of her that you see in yourself. It's always going to be extremely hard, every day you will feel a brokenness in your heart wishing she could be a phone call away and you'd see her walking into the door of your house. As you continue to grow as a person don't forget that she is with you in spirit. Your mom will always live in your heart forever. She will be there every step you take, love, she will be there on the sunny and rainy days, the days when you feel like giving up, and lastly, the days that you're so happy you could cry.
Her love will go on forever...
Sincerely,
The girl who lost her momma
