One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn how to do is ask for help. But even more than that, that it is okay to need help. It’s okay to need someone to talk to and it’s ok to not always be “fine.” It’s okay to let people in.
I’ve always been hesitant at this because I never want to be someone’s burden. I never want to be the cause of someone’s worry or pain. I’m always worried that in sharing my weakness, I’ll put the weight of it on someone else.I’ve always been scared to share myself because I’ve always equated concern and worry with me being “a problem” that can’t be fixed. I thought that I couldn’t be helped and that it was pointless to ask for something when I didn’t even know what I needed.
One of the biggest things I’ve had to learn through all of this though is that people worry because they care. People want to be let in. They want to know what’s going on, and they want to help.
When I finally started letting people in, I started to realize how loved I am. Even when I don’t know what I need, I know that there are people around me who want to be there. I wrote this poem when I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t think there was anywhere to turn so I didn’t try. Looking back on this I am so grateful to have learned what I have.
If you’re reading this, you are loved. There are people out there who care about you. You deserve to be here and you deserve to feel like people care. Even if you haven’t met those people yet, they’re out there just waiting for you to let them in.My silent cry for help
So much there.
So much I can't share
I don't wanna say
Please just look away
Don't just stare
And pretend like you care
Watch me struggle from afar
I'm killing myself
I need it but I don't want your help.
I've lost my soul
Now I'm just a body
With no ghost
My demons are strong
My soul has grown weak
I don't want to call
It's not fair
For me to expect
That you would care
Don't you see the pain
Please look away
You shouldn't care
It's really not fair
Just trust my lies
I'll say I'm fine
Please just stop asking why