Dear People pleaser,
I know it's hard to accept, but being a people pleaser does not always have the most positive results. Take it from the girl who would consistently put other people's happiness in front of her own. Don't get me wrong, the feeling of knowing that we are making someone happy is wonderful, but it has a lasting effect. If we constantly put other people's happiness in front of our own, we lose sight of ourselves and doing what makes us happy.
Being a people pleaser results in not only sacrificing our happiness but not being able to make someone happy takes a larger toll on us making us feel like a failure or a disappointment. As a people pleaser, we feel guilty when something goes our way and doesn't necessarily work out for someone else. That is perfectly okay to have sympathy for the other person, but we should still be able to find joy in our successes and accomplishments because everyone deserves some good.
Coming from a people pleaser herself, I'm here to say that it is possible to be a people pleaser and to make ourselves happy. The secret is a crazy concept known as communication and some risk factor. When someone does something that upsets us, but makes the other person happy, don't just deal with it and move on. Instead, talk to that person and explain why it was upsetting. I know I've let people walk all over me before because I wanted to avoid confrontation. Even though confronting someone and communicating with them is scary, considering they might become upset doesn't mean we should have to suffer. Chances are that person will understand and not be mad at all, just think positive.
I know it seems almost impossible to put ourselves first more often, but trust me when I say this. It will change your life and bring so much more joy. Not only will you be happier but confrontation will help with people skills in the future. Don't stress about it too much, it'll be okay…I promise!
Hailey (the used to be people pleaser)
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