Yes, you read the title right. I have only truly loved one boy in my life. I know that probably sounds strange, but trust me, it was worth it. Sure, I’m only 20 and will have plenty more opportunities to find love, but this love will always stick with me and stay in my heart forever.

Dear Only Boy I Have Loved,

I remember being in elementary school, meeting you and instantly falling for you. I don’t know what it was about you, but something intrigued me. My little naive self wanted to get to you know better. Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

This crush lasted very long, way too long. Google says that if a crush lasts more than 4 months then it is love. This “crush” was definitely love. It lasted for years and years. I held back telling you how I felt because I was scared that I would embarrass myself and ruin everything. Even though you weren’t the type of guy I pictured myself with, I still fell very hard for you. Then one day when I was in high school, I cracked. I had to tell you how I felt, so I did. Sadly, you did not feel the same, and my heart broke. I remember exactly what I was doing when I found out. I was watching Jimmy Fallon and One Direction was performing “Story of my Life,” very appropriate for the situation. I wasn’t sad really, I was just mad that I wasted time on someone that didn’t have the same feelings for me as I did for him. Yes, I was young and didn’t understand love very well, but I felt it very strongly for you. I think what hurt me the most wasn’t the fact that you didn’t like me, it was the fact that I felt you never truly cared about me as I cared about you. I am one of those girls that loves hard and cares way more than I should. When I was younger, I felt as if this crush on you was just a waste of my time. It took me a while to see that this crush was not a waste of time; in fact, it was worth every moment of it.

Looking back on this “crush,” I actually need to thank you for teaching me some valuable life lessons. Thank you for showing me my true self-worth and what kind of man I deserve. Thank you for showing me that it is not a bad to love someone with all your heart and soul, even if they don’t love you back. Thank you for showing me what “one-sided love” is, so next time this happens I will know sooner. Thank you for showing me that being different is okay and should be encouraged. Most importantly, thank you for breaking my heart, because without you I would not be the strong, independent woman that I am today.

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Used to Love You