An Open Letter To The Girl Who's Given Up

An Open Letter To The Girl Who's Given Up

Chivalry is alive and well.

Dear Hopeless,

You're on your last string. You feel like you should just give up on boys and dating, or even love altogether. Becoming a cat lady doesn't seem like that bad of an idea at this point. This "love" thing seems more like a myth like Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster every day. Nobody seems to be working out for you. You see all of these happy people that surround you and you envy them. How can anyone be that happy with someone else? You look around and it seems like all of your friends are in these fantastic relationships and here you are. You're strong. You're independent, but somehow you still feel like you're missing something. Ladies, you should never let the love of a man define who you are. But, some days, you know how good it would feel to have it.

We say that we need a man, but often in the same breath say "all the good men are married". Well, there's some truth behind that. All good men are married because they've made it. They're on the other side of this terrible hookup culture that we have created in 2016. I can promise you something, though, they were flawed when they first began, too. Nobody is perfect, and nobody can be perfect together without trying. We also tend to say that men today lack the basic manners and gentleman-like characteristics that thrived in our parents' and grandparents' generations. This isn't true, either. Chivalry is alive and well, you just need to let yourself be open to it.

When you finally find "him", you need to make him into the "good" man he can be for you. Everyone has their own definition of good. People aren't made as puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. It takes time, patience, and effort for anything to be successful, so I question why we give up so easily on relationships. Maybe instead of putting down the man who's trying to build himself up, you can provide him with the tools he needs and work together. While you're helping him, you may realize that you aren't as perfect for him as you first seemed, so you get to work on yourself then, too. Then, you'll finally have this "good" relationship because you'll be spending your time as a team, working for each other, instead of against one another. Remember, it's always easier to build from the broken pieces, than it is to tear down a tower.

Apparently love is this magical journey that comes to you when you least expect it. Sometimes it's with the least expected person, too. I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone. Sometimes these people are strangers you meet. Sometimes they're your best friends. Sometimes they're someone who you never imagined yourself falling for. Every Lois Lane has her Superman. Every Minnie has her Mickey. Every Bella has her Edward. The best advice that I could give to you is to never give up and work on yourself until your dream drops down from the sky and always remember, if the chance is there; take it.


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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start


Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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