Dear Hopeless,
You're on your last string. You feel like you should just give up on boys and dating, or even love altogether. Becoming a cat lady doesn't seem like that bad of an idea at this point. This "love" thing seems more like a myth like Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster every day. Nobody seems to be working out for you. You see all of these happy people that surround you and you envy them. How can anyone be that happy with someone else? You look around and it seems like all of your friends are in these fantastic relationships and here you are. You're strong. You're independent, but somehow you still feel like you're missing something. Ladies, you should never let the love of a man define who you are. But, some days, you know how good it would feel to have it.
We say that we need a man, but often in the same breath say "all the good men are married". Well, there's some truth behind that. All good men are married because they've made it. They're on the other side of this terrible hookup culture that we have created in 2016. I can promise you something, though, they were flawed when they first began, too. Nobody is perfect, and nobody can be perfect together without trying. We also tend to say that men today lack the basic manners and gentleman-like characteristics that thrived in our parents' and grandparents' generations. This isn't true, either. Chivalry is alive and well, you just need to let yourself be open to it.
When you finally find "him", you need to make him into the "good" man he can be for you. Everyone has their own definition of good. People aren't made as puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. It takes time, patience, and effort for anything to be successful, so I question why we give up so easily on relationships. Maybe instead of putting down the man who's trying to build himself up, you can provide him with the tools he needs and work together. While you're helping him, you may realize that you aren't as perfect for him as you first seemed, so you get to work on yourself then, too. Then, you'll finally have this "good" relationship because you'll be spending your time as a team, working for each other, instead of against one another. Remember, it's always easier to build from the broken pieces, than it is to tear down a tower.
Apparently love is this magical journey that comes to you when you least expect it. Sometimes it's with the least expected person, too. I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone. Sometimes these people are strangers you meet. Sometimes they're your best friends. Sometimes they're someone who you never imagined yourself falling for. Every Lois Lane has her Superman. Every Minnie has her Mickey. Every Bella has her Edward. The best advice that I could give to you is to never give up and work on yourself until your dream drops down from the sky and always remember, if the chance is there; take it.
-Hopeful