I always looked forward to Summer when I was in high school. It was the hype of warm weather and the fact that I didn't have to do anymore school work for three months that brought excitement to my mind and happiness to my heart. I had so many things planned, so many activities, vacations, hangouts, I never knew where to start! Even the summer before I started college for the first time was just as exciting, because I was making that transition from senior in high school to freshman in college. The dorm shopping, making sure my classes were all finalized, and graduation parties were the hype of my summer that year.

But, now that I'm back from my first year of college, Summer doesn't feel that way anymore.

As I returned home, things felt a lot different. In a way, it felt like I never left, but on the other hand, I felt like I was a total stranger in my hometown. Almost like a tourist. I'd been gone for almost a year(10 months to be exact). When I first walked in the doors of my "home," my parents and my dogs came to greet me like always, but the hype was gone. I think it's because my parents knew that I'd been gone for so long that they know I've just been doing my own thing. They know I: get food on my own, leave whenever I want to, and basically do whatever I want (within reason of course). It was basically a quick hug, a "yay you're home!" and then life resumed back to the way it was.

Well, at least for them.

I like to look at the Summer as the third semester. The time where I have to recollect myself at home to prepare for the Fall semester. Summer just felt like a filler for me

Coming home for smaller breaks during the school year was a different story. I was so excited when they came, because I missed home so much. The familiarity of my town was still fresh in my mind every time I returned, but not this time. There's something different about the summer. Was it the fact that I would be stuck in my hometown for almost 3 whole months? Was it that notion that I wouldn't be seeing the seniors when I returned from break? I guess I never realized that, when I return in the Fall, it would be an entire new chapter. Different classes, different dorm, different year, just...different. I still feel that, even though it is summer, that I had to be doing something at all times. Is there a paper due? Did I have class today? What about rehearsal? Natural things that I always asked myself through the school year.

I know that I'm meant to be enjoying myself and visiting those who I hadn't seen in months, but I can't help but let my mind wander to school. I missed my friends already and it hasn't even been a week. I know that I'll see most of them again in the fall and that I'm supposed to be enjoying my time with my family and my friends that I left behind, but I couldn't do it. The college life has become so natural to me that I can't even think of doing anything outside of my school. How am I supposed to just sit back and relax, summer? I thank you for giving me a breather from school and for giving me warm sunny days to lay out in.

But summer, I'm mad at you.

I didn't think that you would take away the place that I've come to call home or the friends that I've come to love so much because I'm with them everyday. Don't get me wrong, it's nice being home, I just wish it didn't have to last so long. I've moved on in my life and I just want to keep moving. I don't want to feel like I'm backtracking. If I could stay at school, with no classes, and just go back to visit my hometown a few weeks out of the summer, I would do that in a heartbeat. Sadly, that's not how any of this works.

I'm going to try to relax, summer, but I'm telling you, I can't wait to go back to school.