It's been a long time since I wrote to you. 11 years actually, and this is so long overdue. I've tossed and turned over writing this, dragging up all the sadness that took place when you left, but to be completely honest, you deserve all the words I could ever summon up. So here's to you. My first best friend, my angel, my grandpa.

First of all, thank you. Thank you for everything that I was too young to appreciate when you were around. You never realize how much someone fills your life until they aren't there anymore. You filled my childhood with love, laughter, and adventures that I could have never had with anyone else--leaving me with memories I can only share with you.

Thank you for always hiding our favorite candy in the same spot even though you definitely knew I would sneak them without asking and then pretend I didn't know what happened to them. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time, but true love is letting someone steal your Reese's peanut butter cups and always leaving them in the same "hiding" place, regardless.

Thank you for letting me tag along. Toting around a young kid is annoying but you always let me follow you around. Your own personal shadow. Thank you for letting me paint your nails, play around in the garage while you worked, and for sacrificing your masculinity for a little girl who just wanted someone to play with her barbies with her. I'm sure orange nail polish wasn't exactly the latest trend in carpenter work.

Thank you for appreciating me. There was one instance in which someone had said to you how lucky you were to have me and all you did was nod. Little did you know that you gave me all of the validation I didn't know I would ever need. Whenever I feel broken or burst into hour long bouts of crying because I miss you or life is hard, I remember that simple nod and I know that if I never do anything right, at least I was the best granddaughter I could be to the best friend I ever had.

Thank you for inspiring my love for Wheel of Fortune, coffee, and reading. You'd always come home from a long day of work just to handle a 5 year old who wanted to do every single thing that you did. Even if my coffee wasn't actually all coffee, you gave me a sense of maturity, which--as I have grown to notice --helped me mature as I've grown older.

Thank you for growing with me. As I outgrew my barbies and tea parties, you let me express myself in any way I could think up. You let me wrap you in toilet paper when I wanted to be a doctor, teach you lessons in school when I wanted to be a teacher, and I could only imagine what you'd let me do if you would have known I wanted to be a psychologist.

And lastly, thank you for all the things I could never express with words. Losing you has--and probably always will be--one of the most painful things I have ever gone through and though our time was short, I wouldn't have changed it for the entire world. You were my first best friend and I can't thank you enough for that. I still remember the last time I spoke with you, and it still brings tears to my eyes every time. I can only hope that you're looking down on me, smiling, or rolling your eyes at me for the sometimes crazy things I do. I hope I'm making you proud and most of all, I hope you know just how special of a human being you were. People like you come along once in a lifetime, and I'm so glad to have started my life off with someone like you.

Love always,

Your Granddaughter