Dear Sloppy Roommates,
A certain discussion between us is long overdue. And before you ask—no, it's not about the game that was on last night, or the person you like, or how much you hate working. We need to have a more blunt and stern discussion with you. The topic? Your insufferable and obnoxious living habits. Listen up.
No one likes doing chores, but we sure as hell aren't going to do ours and then yours.
Take dishes for example. We don’t care if you’re “busy" or “tired” after making a meal for yourself. Once you put your dishes in the sink, it’s only a matter of time before a few turn to many and the smell delicious to sickening. We more or less go through the same workload in life as you, but you don’t see us slacking off and letting the dishes sit in the sink unwashed for hours or even days on end. Done eating a meal? Don’t transition to couch potato mode just yet—there’s work to be done.
You do realize that your behavior is a reflection of your parents, right?
Surely someone of authority in your household has lectured you on the importance of cleanliness and proper hygiene. So when you stray from the expected path of responsibility and make an absolute dump of the living space that we SHARE, we have every right to be both annoyed and angry, as well of being highly suspicious of who raised you and how they did it. Maybe your parents are actual sweethearts and did their best by teaching you the right things to do, but you just chose to ignore their words once you moved out. Or maybe they’re just like you and enabled your bad habits from day one. Either way, we'll probably never know how they raised you. But now, you are the ones accountable for us having suspicious and even disrespectful thoughts towards your parents, and that's not fair to them to have their reputation and image tarnished because not of their own actions, but because of yours.
Your ignorance, stubbornness, and even outright refusal towards carrying your share of the burden is beyond insulting.
While you may be okay with living in such dirty conditions, we don’t appreciate it nor want it. At all. Please feel free to dirty it up to just how you like it in your own room, or on your side of the room, but in a shared space like a kitchen, a living room, and the bathroom? You better start acting your age and stop putting these things off in the hopes of someone else doing it before you have to. We're not your parents or your nannies and we're certainly tired of cleaning up your messes.
I get it. We're adults and our own bosses. But when you share a home with us, you are no more important than us, and we no more important than you. We are equals; That is why we share the burden of equally paying rent and utilities. So how is that not different than even simpler things such as doing your own dishes? Taking turns to throw out the trash and recycling when the cans are overflowing? Wiping down the counter tops after making a meal? Cleaning the shower and toilet periodically? It's seriously not that hard. I guess the only relief in us writing this letter to you is knowing that sweet freedom is just around the corner, for we don't have to live with your sorry behind forever.
Signed,
Your disappointed and disgruntled roommates.
