Dear parents of a college student on move-in day,

You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I know that if your child is moving into college soon that you’re probably a little anxious about it. Not only is move-in day a big day for your child, but it’s a big day for you as the parent, too. Whether this is your first child to move off to college and you still have babies at home, your last baby to move away, it’s your only child, or whatever the case, the transition is still going to be difficult for the two of you.

As a child that moved off to college, I was worried not only for me, but for my parents as well. We had talked about how big the transition was going to be for us. My family and I are very close, and being away from them had always been difficult for me. Home was my happy place and my family was my security blanket in a sense. I will admit that I was excited to move into college. I asked my parents over and over if they were looking forward to move-in day knowing that it was going to be a bittersweet day for them—bitter because I was leaving, but sweet because I was finally going to college, something they always wanted me to do.

As the day approached, my excitement increased and the morning of move-in day, I had such an adrenaline rush that I didn’t think about the fact that I was moving out of my house for the first time ever. That reality set in when I had to say “see you later” to my parents after they had moved me into my dorm. Tears welled up in my eyes, a lump rose up in my throat, and my heart was in my stomach. I knew that was coming, but it was still a slap in the face as soon as it happened, but I, along with them, made it through it.

As I mentioned in my article, Dear Incoming College Freshmen: Your Lives Are About To Change, my first week at college was terrible. Welcome Week was miserable as well as the weeks after that, but eventually it got easier. Luckily, my Gram was the one that kept me sane. No matter who many times I asked if I could come home that first week, she told me “no”. She didn’t tell me “no” because she didn’t want me back home. She did it because she knew that if she let me come home that I would end up staying there instead of embarking on the rest of my college journey. She also assured me that I would always have a home with her, she wasn’t going to change my room, and I was always welcome in her house. That’s what made it bearable for me. When asked what she had to say to the parents of incoming college freshmen on move-in day, my Gram said this:

“Remember that your job as a parent is to help your child to grow wings and leave the nest. They were never meant to stay home forever. If you show them that you believe in them and let them know that you have faith in their ability to grow and succeed, it will help them out in the long run with the adjustment. Do not change your child’s room into a library, workout room, sewing room, etc. Give them a place to come back to that is their own space. Remind them that college isn’t forever and that they can still come back home for a weekend or some type of break. Just because they moved off to college doesn’t mean that they don’t have a home to come back to.”

The bottom line is that this will be hard for all of the people involved. There probably will be tears shed on this day and the days following this transition. It’s okay to feel loss and remorse when your baby leaves the nest, but this too shall pass. You both will be okay. Don’t think that your kid won’t miss you. They will and they love you. You’ll make it through it and the year will be over before you know it. You just watch.

Sincerely,

A student that made it through the first year