Dear Spring Semester,

We meet again. Last time we got together, things didn't work out so well, and I think we deserve a second chance to make things right again. I think we could have a really good relationship, but we'll need to work together. I have a few ideas that I think will help strengthen our relationship. Are you willing to try?

Let's begin by discussing tests. Now I know you have probably already sat down with all of my professors and talked about tests, but is there any chance you let each one of them know that their class isn't the only one I'm taking? Maybe you hinted at the fact that you have 15 weeks and they all don't have to give a test every four weeks? What about the ratio between multiple choice, short answer and essay questions? No, you didn't? Well, OK then.

Papers. I'm sure you talked about papers. Let's remember that there is a difference between a research paper and just a regular paper written on nonsense. Sure, I won't complain about writing a seven- to 10-page research paper if I only have to write one.

I know my professors want an annotated bibliography with at least 50 sources (DON'T use Wikipedia), but do they really enjoy reading them? All 50 to 75 of them? Did you happen to tell them that they don't need to assign two-page papers (that aren't on the syllabus) for busy work? Oh, I'm not busy enough already as it is?

No, Professor [insert name here], I'm not talking about being busy socializing. I'm talking about the full-time college student who works two jobs and is trying to get to the gym a few times a week but is spending eight hours in the library searching for one, yes one more source for your 15-page research paper on why the sky is blue and can't remember if they showered today kind of busy. No again, huh?

I know you talked about other assignments like homework, right? Yes, just about everyone gives homework, but is it necessary for my homework to be read five chapters in the text and write a two-page summary on each chapter, submit it by 11:59 p.m. Wednesday night and three weeks from next Monday you will talk to the class about what you learned? I'm sorry but I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night. How am I suppose to remember five chapters from three weeks ago?

I know it sounds like I have a lot of demands but I'm just trying to make things better for the both of us. If you can make these things happen, our bond will be unbreakable. No, you aren't going to make this happen? OK.

One last thing: Can I get some extra credit?

Sincerely,

A Hopeful Me