Dear Ashleigh,

Listen, I get it. It is cold out and you want someone to hold. You're tired of being lonely, I understand it has been quite a while since your last relationship. Yet, why are you letting relationship statuses (or, the lack of one) dictate your own personal happiness? You have so much to offer this world and to other people, you should never let your lack of a partner keep you from embracing your potential. To help, I thought of some reassurances that you should keep in mind when you are feeling a little lonelier than normal.

You should never have to fight for someone's attention.

If someone is ignoring you or not reaching out, please just leave them be. If someone is interested in you and wants to talk you then they will, plain and simple. Nobody is ever too busy to let you know they are too busy to talk or tell you good morning and goodnight. Same thing with getting together and seeing one another; he will pursue if he wants you. You should not have to, and you should not be the only one chasing in the situation.

A man is never important enough for you to compromise right now.

I am not talking about compromising on where to go to dinner or what to watch on Netflix. I am talking the real, serious stuff. Like, if you do not tolerate or want casual sex, no man is ever worth you compromising on that because the right guy won't ask you to or make you compromise. If you are not even one for casual things, or "just talking," do not lower those standards to appease a man. This is the time for you to be selfish, to put yourself first. You should not change that for a potential partner because you are worth so much more than that.

You do not have to be in a relationship to be successful.

Even though it feels like the world will, as a woman, judge you on your relational and marital status, your own personal success and goals do not have to surround it. You have achieved so much without a man this far, why would that change for right now and the future? You can strive on your own. Better yet, you will strive on your own. So stop worrying so much about boys and finding someone, and focus on your goals. Allow your dreams to take hold of your thoughts constantly, not boys or the drama they bring along with them.

You have so much to bring to the table, even if a man does not recognize it.

You are so caring and loving, you want to do so much good in the world and help people. You are considerate and thoughtful, kind and generous too. You are intelligent and successful. Just because a man has not chosen you or whatever does not take away the powerful, good things about you. You are not perfect, but you are certainly not worthless and unwanted. Learn to love yourself, to love these things about yourself, and stop pining for a man to open his eyes and see these things for yourself. A man does not need to appreciate these things for you to make them actually matter.

I hope you have a good semester, and stop fretting so much about men. You have better things, grander things to accomplish than just finding a boyfriend. Even though you feel lonely, you are not alone. You have family and friends that love and appreciate you through and through. Focus on that instead. You are beautiful and important in your own way. Now, it is time to become stronger in being single. I love you.

Best,

Ashleigh.