Here it is.
The night before I leave for college, embarking on the next stage of my life. There's a lot of unknowns ahead. A lot of choices that I'll have to make. As I sit alone in my room, long after all of my clothes are tucked away in bins and belongings packed into small containers, I start to look around. I see the empty walls, the empty dresser and shelves, and all of the things that were once filled. Everything is suddenly gone and packed away, awaiting a new life in my college dorm. Change is inevitable and change is hard. But change is always good.
I spent the majority of my senior year of high school waiting for this moment. Not graduation, but college move in day. I waited and waited for the day that I would receive my independence and freedom. I would be on my own for the first time in eighteen years.
And now that the day is here, I just feel...strange.
I've heard it said that you're never truly ready. You always second guess everything. Whether you packed the right amount of clothes, if you chose the right college, if college in general was the right choice. You're afraid of all of the things that you'll miss when you go away. Those family dinners. Going to Church on Sunday. Your coworkers at your high school job. Even your teachers that you once detested for giving you that C on your English paper (I'm looking at you).
I think of all of the friends and family that I've had to say goodbye to over the past week. Many of them I will be seeing in just a few short months during Thanksgiving. But still, it just feels strange having to say goodbye. It's not like in high school where you would end up seeing them the next day. There will be hundreds of miles of distance between you now. The only way you can possibly see each other is through a quick FaceTime call or a post on Instagram.
A song from "The Addams Family" has been playing through my head over and over again: "Happy/Sad". It's a song sung by Gomez Addams to Wednesday Addams on the eve of her wedding to her fiancee Lucas. He's both happy and sad that she's grown up and beginning the next stage of her life. It's a bittersweet song that I think perfectly describes my emotions: I'm both happy and sad. I'm happy to be beginning a new adventure, but I'm also sad that the previous one has come to an end.
I feel like I have been fortunate enough to have accomplished a lot in my time here in my hometown. I was fortunate to have been surrounded by so many loving and supportive individuals, teachers, friends, and family. You never really realize how impactful people have been until you look back. To everyone that has helped, I thank you.
To my hometown, thank you. You shaped me into the person that I am today. From school to theatre to work to the baristas at Starbucks that know not only my name but my usual order. Thank you.
This is not the end. But a new beginning.