Dear Dad,

I can’t believe that in a few weeks it will be your birthday. It will be three years since you died this October. There are so many days that I wish you were still here, so I could hear your voice and ask you for advice. I look at your picture in our living room and think about how much I miss you.

I know that you would love it here in Connecticut. They have so many awesome car shows during the summer, every weekend. Every time I drive by one I remember the one that we went to with all the old muscle cars. We had so much fun that day.

Your grandson has grown into one handsome and charming little man. He has an eye for the ladies just like you thought he would. I can just imagine what he’s going to be like when he starts dating. I hate the fact that he won’t remember you but I talk about you with him a lot so he doesn’t completely forget who you were. I look at the pictures of you and him together and they make me cry. I know you loved him and he loved you.

Mom is doing fine. I keep an eye on her for you. I know that was supposed to be TJ’s job but since your passing, he has taken it really hard. He moved back to Texas and now has a job hauling heavy equipment. I never thought he would turn out to be a truck driver. Stephanie and the kids are well. Josalynn has grown up so much and so has Sebastian. We’ve all dealt with your loss in different ways but I’m sure that you’ve been checking up on us when you aren’t kidding around with the rest of the family up there.

A new Avengers movie has come out. The one that they have been working towards for all these years. I enjoyed it, but the ending really sucked. I’m sure if you saw it you would say the same thing. I won’t say any more than that because I don’t want to ruin it for anyone else that reads this.

I love you Dad and I want to say how immensely sorry I am that I wasn’t there for at the time that you needed me most. I hated myself for so long because of it before I learned how to deal with that guilt. I miss being your daughter. There is a huge hole in my heart from you leaving us. Who am I going to get to walk me down the aisle when I get married? Who is Brennan going to call grandpa?

I know it wasn’t your choice to leave the way that you did. I just wish more than anything in the world that I could have been there to say goodbye. I love you Dad and I will never get over losing you. I just hide it and pretend to be a big girl whenever I think about it. I guess you could say that I've learned to deal with it.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Much Love,

Teela