Dear Dad,

It has taken me years to finally sit down and write this letter because we’ve had so many ups and downs. From you being there for me all the time from ages 1-11 then disappearing from my life for five years only to show up to my work on my 16th birthday. There has been a recent development in our relationship that has allowed me to choose to cut you out of my life completely.

I just want to start off by saying that no matter what has happened, I’ll always love you. I want you to know that despite everything you have done you’re still my dad, and you were there for me when I needed it most as a child. I thank God every day that when you weren’t in my life, it was at a time that he knew I could handle it and get through it even though at that time I may not have thought that at the moment. I was able to get through all of it, and I am a better human being for it. I am who I am because of all the stuff that you’ve put me through. You taught me so many things like how to be strong, and independent

When I needed you most in my life, you bailed and ran to a different country because you couldn’t face your problems head-on. I know that I got my fighter flight from you, but I’m not a runner because I’ve seen how much it affects those around us. I don’t think you realized how badly you hurt me during those years. When you finally returned into my life it may have seemed like I forgave you but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for lying to me most of my life, and then taking off without so much as a goodbye. I don’t think I ever will fully be able to forgive you. Especially now, after I saw things in you that I’ve only heard people describe to me about you last time we spoke.

I never thought that you would look at me like I was the biggest mistake of your life especially when I’ve seen how you talked about how having me was your greatest accomplishment. I have never felt more worthless in my entire life than the moment that you looked at me and said that I was the problem and that it was my fault you said that to me. The reason was that there is this man that is supposed to be my rock, and my world looking at me like I am the only reason he is unhappy. I don’t think you can ever imagine how I felt in that moment but I’ll try to explain it. I felt anger, sadness, heartbreak and I felt like the most worthless thing.

Once I was able to walk away from the situation and grasp what had happened, I know that the right thing for me was to cut you out of my life for good because I’ve given you too many chances to try and step up. No matter how hard you try again it won’t make a difference because the side I saw from you is a side I never want to see from anyone.

There are a few things that I want you to know though besides the pain you’ve put me through. I want you to know that I don’t blame you for leaving me or for being a terrible father, and a good one in moments. All of this is because I believe that everything happens for a reason and I know that deep down you did love me in your way. I know that God would never put me through something that I couldn’t come out the other side from. I want to thank you for allowing me to leave you when I was in a foreign country and not checking in on me. I want to thank you because without you doing that I wouldn’t have walked away, and I wouldn’t have realized that I could do anything by myself.

If I can conquer a foreign country all on my own without a working cell phone or not speaking their language than I can make it anywhere. I can handle anything thrown my way because of you, so thank you! I know that without you teaching me the importance of broken trust than I would’ve thought to trust the guy with a cute smile, and a player who could outplay me. Instead, you taught me at a very young age not to trust any man unless he can prove it with action. You have shown me the man that I want in my life, and also the people that I want to surround myself with.

I want you to know that everything I do will be because you pushed me and you created an unstoppable force by being a terrible father. I hope that your next marriage is all you want it to be, and I hope that your life is fulfilling enough. I also hope that you know that you did this, I didn’t. I just stuck with the truth.

Sincerely,

Your daughter