What I Want My Adult Self To Know

What I Want My Adult Self To Know

Because at the young age of 19, you might have actually had a few things right.

I don’t know much about this world at all. In fact, I’ll be the first to admit that I have only experienced a small, I mean microscopic, fraction of the aspects that make up life, and that I’m a lot better at pointing out when people handle things wrong than suggesting a correct way it should be done. I’m a lot better at thinking I would handle a situation I’ve yet to encounter differently than others instead of trying to see where someone is coming from. I am entirely too big for my britches and like to pretend I understand things that are much beyond my years. I’m quick to assume that adults are bitter, arrogant, oversized children who are just too stubborn to learn something new, and slow to remember it’s because they actually have been there and actually have done that.

While I will gladly admire an adult, I will admit I am not good at fully understanding them. It’s because I’m not one, and won’t truly “get them” until I am. One thing I am for sure of, is that they all have something valuable to offer- advice. For the most part, amazing advice. Something that at this young and vulnerable stage of our lives we are always in lack of. I can’t help but be bothered, though, by the feeling that through the inspiring and honest sentiments about what life can and should be sometimes these adults forget to listen to themselves.

So today I want to write to my future self, and I want to start off by saying you were really the arrogant, oversized child and that I am sorry for all the things you’re experiencing now that are the repercussions of my actions. I’m sorry for all the times you’ve been “put in your place” because of my naive thoughts, for all the times you’ve been judged for my previous judgements, and for all the times your world is rocked because I really didn’t have a clue. I want you to know that all of my shortcomings, and all of your subsequent flaws, stem from a big heart, large imagination, and mind that does not cease to wander. I want you to know that you received great advice about adulthood, and that you shouldn’t let it go to waste. So here below are a few things that you actually had right at a young age, and that you should always remind yourself of.

  1. You should be a giver. Give your money to those who haven’t had the time to acquire wealth yet. Give your love to those who are in deficit of it elsewhere. Give your time to anyone who accepts it.
  2. Plans are made to fail. It’s the beauty of life and its unpredictability. Don’t become flustered or bogged down by the false idea that your life sucks because nothing goes your way- it isn’t really supposed to.
  3. God is more of a healthy lifestyle than a quick-fix, five-day diet. You can’t only call on him when it all falls on you. It’s a daily relationship, and while he’ll never turn you or your cries away he’d love to hear your praises and happiness as well.
  4. Friendship is invaluable. Don’t get so caught up in your job, and your kids, and your spouse that you forget to have friends. They are such a well of joy, laughter, and support that I cannot imagine having to face the trials of the adult world without some.
  5. Asking for help is not as hard as it seems and you don’t look as weak as you feel. People cannot do anything for you if they don’t realize anything is wrong. Suffering in silence brews more problems.
  6. Younger kids know that you’re always right, you don’t have to tell them four hundred times. They’re going to do what they want anyway because the best learning is through experience.
  7. Being honest is not always easy but is always worth it. So, be honest. Be Honest.I promise at 19 I know that being honest is hard, but I already see now how small lies, bending the truth, and omitting details can spiral into an awful situation.
  8. Everyone watches you dance up and down the aisles at the grocery store, in the clothing department, or around the office. They smile more than they scowl. Don’t stop doing that.
  9. You deserve the love you give. You owe it to yourself to provide it if no one else currently is. You can’t do for others if you aren’t together yourself. So spend time on your soul, spend time on your wellbeing. Spend time on you.
  10. You may think you’ll never get over whatever the newest “it” in your life is, but you also thought that all the “its” I’m going through would last forever. They didn’t.
  11. The decisions you make show your character, the decisions made for you that are overcome show your ability. Don’t confuse the two.

Lastly, be the adult that inspires and entices younger generations to grow up well. Because they really do pay attention. Don’t break their view of marriage, don’t screw with their idea of hope, and don’t teach greed. Be the realest you out there, but be real good as well. Do for nineteen year olds what has been done for me. Share your knowledge. Just don’t forget to live by it in the process.

Cover Image Credit: http://personalexcellence.co/blog/images/letter2.jpg

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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​The Motivation To Get Back To The Gym Only Comes From Yourself, Not Online Fitness Influencers

After a long winter break, are you ready to get back to grinding?


My winter break was filled with time spent with friends, family, working, and of course, eating lots of food!

Too much food to be completely honest. My holiday food baby is still kicking with late night cravings, and endless amounts of french fries that I absolutely DO NOT need to keep consuming from different restaurants.

My latest excuse from bringing myself to the gym is from being too tired- although I work incredibly late (till around 2 A.M almost every night) I can't help but feel drained and empty the next morning to get myself up, and run 2 miles on the treadmill. It just doesn't make sense to me why I would do such a thing when my body is clearly over-exhausted from late nights at work.

Getting to the gym is like a mind game- you wanna go and get back into shape, but you feel restricted when you haven't been there in approximately 9 years. You have to get in the car that's freezing, walk into the gym filled with people who are in much better shape than you are, and find some way to get yourself motivated to get back on the grind you used to know and love before the holidays started.

Working out in this society is something many post about on social media, especially influencers. Fitness guru's flood Instagram and YouTube with the latest workout routines, as well as show off their "bikini body" and their body progress. This can easily make women who are not consistently going to the gym or eating health feel bad about themselves because they may not have the same body figure. Although it could be motivating to see others working out online, it could also be damaging to one's mental health when they don't have the same level of motivation or body figure.

It all comes down to your mindset and attitude about working out!

Sitting in bed waiting for yourself to just go back to the gym and pick up from where you left off isn't going to make the process any easier. Relaxation mode is completely different than the grinding mode, people! If you want something to change, whether it is to lose weight or just to tone certain parts of your body, it won't happen unless you put effort to do so. This means your body, but also your mind needs to be ready to make that change. If you are in the mindset that you want to sit back and relax, there is no doubt that you wouldn't have a good work out because the entire time you are tirelessly running or lifting, you would be wishing you were home in bed doing nothing.

Your mind needs to be equally as prepared to set goals for yourself in the weight room.

The best ways to motivate yourself to get back to the gym are pretty simple- changing your diet by including healthier options could help, drinking lots of water, and even putting on a pair of work-out leggings could put you in the mindset to get back to the gym. As long as you are working out to better yourself physically and mentally, and not comparing your body type to others on social media, you will feel more positive and get a better work out in rather than feeling the need to compete with others.

Working out regularly is about self-growth- it's about doing what you can to see the changes you want to make with your life. It won't happen overnight, but it is possible! It is finally 2019; a new year filled with new beginnings. Put yourself out there, get motivated, and do what you can to live a healthier lifestyle.

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