What I Want My Adult Self To Know

What I Want My Adult Self To Know

Because at the young age of 19, you might have actually had a few things right.
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I don’t know much about this world at all. In fact, I’ll be the first to admit that I have only experienced a small, I mean microscopic, fraction of the aspects that make up life, and that I’m a lot better at pointing out when people handle things wrong than suggesting a correct way it should be done. I’m a lot better at thinking I would handle a situation I’ve yet to encounter differently than others instead of trying to see where someone is coming from. I am entirely too big for my britches and like to pretend I understand things that are much beyond my years. I’m quick to assume that adults are bitter, arrogant, oversized children who are just too stubborn to learn something new, and slow to remember it’s because they actually have been there and actually have done that.

While I will gladly admire an adult, I will admit I am not good at fully understanding them. It’s because I’m not one, and won’t truly “get them” until I am. One thing I am for sure of, is that they all have something valuable to offer- advice. For the most part, amazing advice. Something that at this young and vulnerable stage of our lives we are always in lack of. I can’t help but be bothered, though, by the feeling that through the inspiring and honest sentiments about what life can and should be sometimes these adults forget to listen to themselves.

So today I want to write to my future self, and I want to start off by saying you were really the arrogant, oversized child and that I am sorry for all the things you’re experiencing now that are the repercussions of my actions. I’m sorry for all the times you’ve been “put in your place” because of my naive thoughts, for all the times you’ve been judged for my previous judgements, and for all the times your world is rocked because I really didn’t have a clue. I want you to know that all of my shortcomings, and all of your subsequent flaws, stem from a big heart, large imagination, and mind that does not cease to wander. I want you to know that you received great advice about adulthood, and that you shouldn’t let it go to waste. So here below are a few things that you actually had right at a young age, and that you should always remind yourself of.

  1. You should be a giver. Give your money to those who haven’t had the time to acquire wealth yet. Give your love to those who are in deficit of it elsewhere. Give your time to anyone who accepts it.
  2. Plans are made to fail. It’s the beauty of life and its unpredictability. Don’t become flustered or bogged down by the false idea that your life sucks because nothing goes your way- it isn’t really supposed to.
  3. God is more of a healthy lifestyle than a quick-fix, five-day diet. You can’t only call on him when it all falls on you. It’s a daily relationship, and while he’ll never turn you or your cries away he’d love to hear your praises and happiness as well.
  4. Friendship is invaluable. Don’t get so caught up in your job, and your kids, and your spouse that you forget to have friends. They are such a well of joy, laughter, and support that I cannot imagine having to face the trials of the adult world without some.
  5. Asking for help is not as hard as it seems and you don’t look as weak as you feel. People cannot do anything for you if they don’t realize anything is wrong. Suffering in silence brews more problems.
  6. Younger kids know that you’re always right, you don’t have to tell them four hundred times. They’re going to do what they want anyway because the best learning is through experience.
  7. Being honest is not always easy but is always worth it. So, be honest. Be Honest.I promise at 19 I know that being honest is hard, but I already see now how small lies, bending the truth, and omitting details can spiral into an awful situation.
  8. Everyone watches you dance up and down the aisles at the grocery store, in the clothing department, or around the office. They smile more than they scowl. Don’t stop doing that.
  9. You deserve the love you give. You owe it to yourself to provide it if no one else currently is. You can’t do for others if you aren’t together yourself. So spend time on your soul, spend time on your wellbeing. Spend time on you.
  10. You may think you’ll never get over whatever the newest “it” in your life is, but you also thought that all the “its” I’m going through would last forever. They didn’t.
  11. The decisions you make show your character, the decisions made for you that are overcome show your ability. Don’t confuse the two.

Lastly, be the adult that inspires and entices younger generations to grow up well. Because they really do pay attention. Don’t break their view of marriage, don’t screw with their idea of hope, and don’t teach greed. Be the realest you out there, but be real good as well. Do for nineteen year olds what has been done for me. Share your knowledge. Just don’t forget to live by it in the process.

Cover Image Credit: http://personalexcellence.co/blog/images/letter2.jpg

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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In Real Life, 'Plus Size' Means A Size 16 And Up, Not Just Women Who Are Size 8's With Big Breasts

The media needs to understand this, and give recognition to actual plus-size women.

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Recently, a British reality dating TV show called "Love Island" introduced that a plus-sized model would be in the season five lineup of contestants. This decision was made after the show was called out for not having enough diversity in its contestants. However, the internet was quick to point out that this "plus-size model" is not an accurate representation of the plus-size community.


@abidickson01 on twitter.com


Anna Vakili, plus-size model and "Love Island "Season 5 Contestant Yahoo UK News

It is so frustrating that the media picks and chooses women that are the "ideal" version of plus sized. In the fashion world, plus-size starts at size 8. EIGHT. In real life, plus-size women are women who are size 16 and up. Plunkett Research, a marketing research company, estimated in 2018 that 68% of women in America wear a size 16 to 18. This is a vast difference to what we are being told by the media. Just because a woman is curvy and has big breasts, does NOT mean that they are plus size. Marketing teams for television shows, magazines, and other forms of media need to realize that the industry's idea of plus size is not proportionate to reality.

I am all for inclusion, but I also recognize that in order for inclusion to actually happen, it needs to be accurate.

"Love Island" is not the only culprit of being unrealistic in woman's sizes, and I don't fully blame them for this choice. I think this is a perfect example of the unrealistic expectations that our society puts on women. When the media tells the world that expectations are vastly different from reality, it causes women to internalize that message and compare themselves to these unrealistic standards.

By bringing the truth to the public, it allows women to know that they should not compare themselves and feel bad about themselves. Everyone is beautiful. Picking and choosing the "ideal" woman or the "ideal" plus-size woman is completely deceitful. We as a society need to do better.

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