An Open Letter to Know-It-Alls
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Health and Wellness

An Open Letter to Know-It-Alls

A lighthearted rant by level-headed people.

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An Open Letter to Know-It-Alls
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What makes this article great is that it’s not what it seems. A know-it-all more than likely won’t even read this despite the fact that it's addressed to them. If you ask the know-it-all why, it’ll be because they already know what the article is about. Shocker.

Truly, this article is for you. This article is the ice cream you almost passed up. It’s the sin of going through a McDonald’s drive-thru at 2:00 a.m. This article is pleasurable indulgence and an act of revenge upon the know-it-all in your life. You have been level headed and full of reason for so long, but now it’s about time that the ego of your pet know-it-all came crashing down.


To the Know-It-All,

Take a moment and check yourself. You’re about to get wrecked. Did I really just waste my time answering your question only to find out that you’ve already decided on an answer beforehand? Apparently the kindness of my heart and busy schedule is irrelevant to you. So you are irrelevant to me. Go on, get!

The red neck in me wants to shoot into the wind and tell you to never come back. Alas, I’ll remain calm while you do the thing you were planning on doing regardless of my opinion. Mind you, I didn’t have an opinion about what you wanted to do until you asked, but that’s not important to you. You are important to you. To which the self-help gurus and authors would commend you. You’ll be able to hear their cheers of admiration for your decisions after you pay them.

Now that I have let off some steam I will return to my logical state of mind and ask: do you fact check? It’s pretty easy these days. In fact, the search bar will often brag about results that only took 0.53 seconds to find, more or less a tenth of a decimal place depending on your router’s speed. Consider Google to be my acting assistant handling your pressing questions from now on.

Also, stop sharing your newfound opinions with me. What’s great about discovering new ideas is that those concepts are new to you. They’re exciting aren’t they? Well, guess what, those opinions aren’t exciting to me because I don’t believe their true. Your opinions are just that: an opinion. That’s something that can’t be fact checked, my friend.

As soon as you realize the differences between you and me, we’ll be good. Being different is good. I don’t need you to believe in the things that I believe in. I’m excited by my own aspirations, ideas, and list of facts already; I don’t ask for anyone’s validation of my beliefs. I just get to see other people excited by what I believe in because I happen to be friends with people who like what I like.

I love that you’re different. I love that you disagree with me. I just don’t want to talk about it until we’re blue in the face because we’re divided and we plan on remaining that way regardless of what we say to each other.

Here’s to you know-it-all: a 609-word count of how frustrating you are to me; it’s all that we both had time for, and I admit that I may be a know-it-all too for writing about how you don’t actually know it all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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