Dear George Watsky

I've been trying to find a way to start this off that'll get you to understand just how important this is to me. This, meaning you – your art and your life, and the effect it's had on me. I want to start this off in a way that won't deter you, that won't make you think that I'm just a random fan and that you actually have had an effect on my life thus far. But I can't find a way to accurately sum that up in a few sentences like that. So this will have to do.

My birth name is Hayden, but to most people other than my family, my name is Hayley. I'm 17-years-old, turning 18 in a little more than half a year. I have grown up with my two parents, my older brother, and my twin brother. The earlier years of my life are what one might consider 'normal'. There weren't any large arguments. We consistently celebrated all major holidays. We took pictures, ate dinner around the table, and had vacations every summer.

But that all ground to a stop around sixth grade. That's when I entered middle school, in a totally different school district than I had been in for all of elementary school. I was thrown in there and I knew absolutely nobody. I had no help socially either, and thus I became very awkward and unfriendly. That's when and why I started getting bullied. It started out small, but it eventually got so severe that I developed depression and was diagnosed with it by the end of that school year. I was 12-years-old.

As a few years passed, that depression just got worse and worse. I was still being bullied to some amount during 7th grade. Also, my views started clashing with those of my greatly conservative family members. A lot of uproar happened, and in 8th grade, it came to a point where I felt trapped between my poor and difficult school life and my negative and hurtful home life. I was looking for ways to cope.

And that's where you came in.

I can't remember exactly when it was, but I was searching through YouTube videos and started looking at videos of fast rappers. I really liked the idea, and I wanted to hear more. I started looking through the channels of those people that I liked, and unlike the other ones I saw, yours had a decent amount of content on it other than just the one video with a few million views. So I started listening, and needless to say, I really liked it. I downloaded the mixtape "Nothing Like The First Time" within the first few days. I listened to that and watched your music videos time and time again. Later that year I found out about your then upcoming album "Cardboard Castles", and I ordered that the first chance I got.

Since then I couldn't get enough of your music. Not only that, but it also helped a lot with everything that I went through. I listened to "Gummy Bear Hundrednaire" practically on loop when I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I wrote out the lyrics to "Tiny Glowing Screens, pt. 2" all across my notebook. When I was sad, I would listen to Cardboard Castles from start to finish, including the skits. I begged my dad to let me go to a concert of yours in Philly (the closest major city. my mom wouldn't have let me done something like that), but for some reason, it never worked out.

Fast forward to now, and I have remained a huge fan of yours. I still suffer from depression among other things, and I came out of the closet almost 2 years ago now. I could be much better, but things are looking up, as this December I'll turn 18 and finally get the chance to be free, and have the body I've always wanted. As for your music, I've listened to everything of yours that I could find but am still looking for more. My mom misplaced my copy of Cardboard Castles, but I still listen to it from time to time. I've refrained from listening to your most recent album, "All You Can Do" thus far, as I want to listen to it after I turn 18, when I'm happier and can appreciate the content more thoroughly.

To sum it up, your work has had a really great effect on me. You've made me smile and laugh during some of my worst moments. You've inspired me to start writing my own poetry as well. I'm writing this in the feeble hope that you will see this, see what a great effect you have had on me over the past several years, and possibly get the honor of you responding. If you don't remember anything else, just remember this: you've influenced me in many parts of my life, and for that, in my book, you really are the G.O.A.T.

As sincerely as possible,

Hayden Rhudd

Newark, Delaware