To the Friends I Left in 2015,

I guess this is the end for us. After all that we’ve been through, this is where we must part ways. But there are so many things you need to know before we do.

When I was younger, it was difficult to make friends. I was never in the popular crowd because I was different. I wasn’t as skinny as the other girls. I didn’t fantasize over the same teen heartthrobs or watch the same television shows. I didn’t have many friends, but the few friendships I did have were great ones. The kinds of friends that stick with you even when others won’t are the best kinds of friends. This should have made me realize who was important to have in my life and who was not, but I was too young to understand.

In high school I put all my effort into being popular. I yearned for what I didn’t have previously. I worked hard to stay in the “in” crowd, even if that meant terminating friendships that could have lasted me a lifetime. I did this at the expense of people’s feelings and my own all to gain the acceptance of the majority. It wasn’t until high school was coming to an end that I realized how much I had lost and how much I had missed out on. I was beginning to realize that the friendships I had built up were toxic and worthless, and I couldn’t be myself around the majority of the people I associated with.

In college, I finally realized it was easy to make friends, but it’s difficult to maintain those relationships and to make them last. People change more in a semester of college than they do throughout all of high school, myself included. Those freshman year “best friends” that you think will be by your side for the next four years turn out to be less invested in the friendship than you believe. In one year of college, I realized the value of a good friend and how many friendships I had that were detrimental to me. I met some of the best people and some of the worst. And that is why I must let so many people go during this new year.

But first, I must thank you. I’m not one to let go easily, but you have made it possible. You have all helped me to realize what true friendship looks like by showing me the opposite. A true friend won’t grow apart from you; they will grow with you. A true friend won’t judge you for your wrong decisions; they’ll help you to make better ones. They won’t leave you when you need them; they’ll stick by your side for anything. But most importantly, a true friend will have a positive impact on your life, not a negative impact.

I hope you understand. As we grow more distant, you may find yourself only knowing me through pictures I share or stories friends may tell you because you won’t know the real me anymore. I hope that if one day our paths cross again we can catch up as old friends do. Maybe by then you will figure out the true meaning of friendship and understand how much you gave up by not valuing what we once had. I grew up. Now it’s your turn.

This year I’m going to work on me. I will surround myself with people who bring me closer to being the best version of myself. It’s hard to find people that bring out the best in you, but it’s amazing when you are able to. You aren’t the last person I will leave behind. I will encounter people like you throughout my whole life, but I’m strong enough now to walk away when I need to. You didn’t help me as a friend, but you helped me by serving as a reminder that I deserve better than you.

Have a Happy New Year.

Sincerely,

Someone You Used To Know