Hey,
I know it's hard when you go outside and encounter people. It's a crowded room and the only thing you want to be, is in a bubble by yourself, and maybe with a cup of Sprite or something. People scare you, terrify you, and you don't have the words to say.
You need to prehearse (pre and rehearse put together) your words before you say them.
Carefully arranging words around so that they make more sense, and take up less breath. You make sure to apply the correct tone of voice for the situation, and pick an according facial expression and smile to match the address being made. You also have to adjust for comfortability with this person, if you've known them for five years, versus a chance encounter in the bathroom the previous night. A social interaction is absolutely exhausting and you'd do anything to avoid it. Especially during school, you'd count paragraphs to find which one you're going to read, to make sure you know how to pronounce every word and maintain a steady pace so that you don't appear to be illiterate, but don't put too much emphasis on accents and complications because then you're just too smart. Just like I did.
Going out to eat is literally a nightmare.
You have to immediately decide what you want, from a wide array of options. "Am I even in a mood for this type of food?" "What if I don't like the way they make fries here? Then I would have to either talk to a manager or employee for a refund, or draw up a scathing email and hope that they promptly address it." In thirty seconds, the typical time I imagine it takes for a normal person to decide and order what they want, in that amount of time, I think I've probably decided that I want to go pee, and my friend can order what I want for me using their best judgement. I've done this several times, and I know others do it too. Talking to a fast food worker, or any food service worker really is a difficulty, in and of itself. First you have to make sure you read the full title of the food you want, then memorize it so you can fold up the menu and hand it to the waiter correctly, say the food after careful forethought withiut stuttering or mispronouncing a word.
It's pretty difficult trying to salvage a social life, let alone having social angst with it. I know you can make it work, I am fully aware of your capabilities, and I know that you can combat this fear. Just make sure you do a few things: inform your friends of what you do when you're experiencing social anxiety so that they know, just so that they know to get double of what they're getting or what specifically it is that you want if you've previously decided. Maybe try going out of your comfort zone and talking to someone new, bring a friend along, andbecome a new group. I did this numerous times and it has help me grown so much as a person.
And here is my most valuable advice: attend a leadership camp. I know how strange that is, but I promise you it will be worth it. The toolkit of skills they provide you with is boundless, and I am so pleased and humbled that I had the opportunity to attend several during my four year sentence to high school. Some of these skills include effective communication, how to work as a team, and how to get to know someone over a short period of time. When I arrived at leadership camp, I was super shy and reserved, always kept to myself, and never really talked to people unless spoken to initially. Over the course of three days, I was yelling chants across a crowded room, fully participating in group activities, and had a brand new group of friends that I made. I would highly recommend a similar experience to anyone with social anxiety and hope that you take the time to fully immerse yourself in any situation that you're in.
Sincerely yours,
Jenn.