To Whom It May Concern:
Yes, I drink Diet Coke.
I am fully aware that I cannot pronounce 9/10 of the ingredients on the label, and I am also aware that this should be a clear indicator that I should not willingly ingest such poison; but alas, my fellow comrades, I do. I will not be drinking my last Diet Coke anytime in the foreseeable future. You are not the first person to criticize my choice in beverages nor will you be the last.
If you have any questions, comments, and/or concerns regarding my poor life decisions, please contact me at NoIWontStopDrinkingDC@IWouldntEvenStopIfIWereOnTheBrinkOfDeath.net
Sincerely,
Me, the who has been confronted six times this week about her Diet Coke addiction.
P.S.: My sincerest apologies if I do not respond to your emails in a timely manner. As you can imagine, I have a pretty packed schedule drinking Diet Coke, bathing in Diet Coke, and directly injecting Diet Coke into my veins. Thank you and have a great day!