Harvey Weinstein, Mario Batali, Louis CK, Senator Al Franken, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Russell Simmons, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Spacey, editors at the New Republic, DC Comics, the Paris Review, the head of NPR News, the owner of an NFL team, and the choreographer of a ballet. There is a common theme that is shared between all of these names. They are serial sexual harassers, but more to the point, they are all men.
The rise of the Me Too and Time's Up movements began in late 2017, but their revolution will be played out for years to come. America, and especially the women who were preyed upon by these horrid men, will now bear the scars of this for the rest of their lives.
What few people realize is that these movements do not affect just the women who experienced them, or the isolated centers of power such as Hollywood or Washington D.C in which they were promulgated. These movements are intrinsically intertwined with the lives of every individual in America. No one can escape from it; everyone is involved in some way or another.
There is a perceived or imagined sense of normalcy involved with the power which men hold over women, and until this is corrected, horrible men will continue to do horrible things. As a young white male, I take my first step in trying to right this wrong; I apologize to all women, and acknowledge that I have not done enough to stand up for gender equality.
If there is to be real and consequential change within society, then all of the men within society must acknowledge the part they have played in allowing their wives, mothers, sisters, and friends to be continually tormented by other men. For the vast majority of us, we have never sexually harassed or abused any of the women in our lives. The crime we are guilty of is the crime of silence. In our silence, we have become complicit with the abhorrent actions of the few. In 2018, it is time for the young men of my generation to realize this and try to rectify this situation.
Some simple suggestions that every man and boy can do to try and accomplish this:
1. Stop making distinctions between outright abusers and subtle harassers.
One leads to the other, and by making the subtle harasser feel safe in comparison to the abuser, that just gives them leniency to continue down their path.
2. Stop making excuses about unspoken signals.
If a woman isn't communicating with you very well verbally, maybe that's because she is uncomfortable, and you should stop. Body language is just as much a part of human communication as the spoken language is, and "misinterpreting" it isn't an excuse anymore.
3. Believe the victim.
It's time to stop automatically questioning and accusing the victims of harassers and abusers. We, as men, have to start believing those who actually experience these revolting crimes.
4. Try and understand things from a woman's point of view.
Men, we're smart enough to understand women. Stop saying that we can't, because it's an utter fallacy. Men have the capacity to understand women, but in many instances we willfully choose not to. We plead ignorance so that we can maintain our own hegemony of power, and then use that power for our own pleasure. Enough is enough; it's time to stop playing dumb.
Be Conscientious and Empathetic.
Every man is always keenly aware of his individual self, but are they about others as well, and especially women? Maybe the simplest of suggestions will do the most good. Try and be as conscientious and empathetic towards the women you encounter, as you are to yourself.
I realize that this list is nowhere close to comprehensive, but we have to start somewhere. Time is up for this behavior, and even the smallest steps can help continue towards a more equitable and free society. To the women who might read this, I reiterate my apology, and hope that this article can be some small recompense for not speaking my mind sooner.