This one goes out to the last-minute Amazon Prime ordered graduation heels. The cork that bore the weight of my entire being, stretched to conform to my body, and were broken in only for me to feel broken in them.
I wanted to love high school like I did the Troy Bolton musical demonstration I memorized every lyric to during the Kenny Ortega interview/sing along special on Disney Channel. I wanted the same climactic cinematic classic experience. I tried to spread positivity through my bubbly overly friendly personality like the flu at an elementary school- always going around trying to get to everyone. We grow up to the soundtracks of movies like these and social media odes to the best years of our lives.
For someone doing the most to try to live the best, I felt that I had endured the worst. I don't reminisce over shaking pom-poms on the sidelines when I felt like everyone was rooting against me. I do not keep a scrapbook of sweet and low style friendships. What I remember most about high school was giving my heart to a world rejecting the transplant.
Here's what Gabriella's monologue doesn't tell you in the movie:
- It's okay for these times to not be your prime because the best ones are yet to come anyway.
- Your thoughts and feelings can be more ambiguous than the fortune cookie you found in your car in the church parking lot.
- The way you go about your emotions doesn't come with a syllabus style schedule with a deadline for you to have to be finished by- finished with your feelings, your concerns, your friendships.
- A diploma is not a bandaid that heals everything.
- It's okay to be a biter kiss goodbye as you make it out: a tasteless tongue and ending energy, sloppy like joes but glowing with goodbye.
Here's to the kids who don't just go the mile but take the trip across the stage in my black platform sandals.