I was once told that I may be quiet but I am not shy. This is a statement that continues to baffle me even though the commentator surely did not analyze to the extent which I am. I have found that so much of my identity is wrapped up within the definition of an introvert. Society (and Myers Briggs) defines every human being as an introvert or an extrovert and makes the claim that which category people fall into can further predict future occupations or other personality traits.

I do the very same.

An introvert is defined as a person who draws energy from being alone, not from being around people. Socializing does not invigorate the introvert, it drains them. An introvert is not incapable of socializing, they simply prefer a few, meaningful relationships as opposed to a multitude that require small talk to be maintained.

I used to attempt to fix myself because in the eyes of those much wiser than me because being quiet and introverted was shameful. People would view me as aloof, mysterious, or a brat. I have tried over and over again to inject myself into social situations, but have not prevailed.

The fact of the matter is we live in a world for extroverts. From high school to the workforce, being likable and social will aid in advancement towards goals, career or otherwise. Extraversion enables making connections to gain access to various industries and excelling at interviews considerable easier. This is not a world for the quiet, for the discreet, for the introverted. This is a world for talkers.

Introversion should not be something that needs to be fixed.

I have stopped trying. I have accepted that I am an awkward, quiet, introvert. People who have no desire to be around me because I am quiet do not have to be. I have stopped wanting to fix myself. I am that quiet, book reading nerd who sits in the corner and I have stopped minding. I have built relationships that I value and will continue to, but I don't need to be adored widely.

The same commentator who told me I am quiet but not shy did not just baffle me with their statement but also complimented me with following one: the person who leaves the strongest impact is not necessarily the brassiest person in the room, attracting attention is not necessarily the only road to success. That meant more to me than people will realize.

For the first time, my quietness was being treated like something that made me unique and valuable. And for the first time, I am beginning to see it that way.