First off, if you don't think our society and world has a problem with sexual assault then you're part of the problem. If you think how someone dresses dictates how other people should treat them, then you're part of the problem. If you think that someone's sexual history, number, or "body count" means that you can ignore their consent then you're part of the problem. If you don't think men can be sexually assaulted then you're part of the problem. Guys it's time to get woke.

It doesn't matter if you're dating them, married to them, have children with them, or are related to them. Sexual assault is sexual assault. Rape is rape. It's not just about the apparent lack of consent, but any use of coercion, manipulation, or violence to pressure someone into a sexual act.

"It's not consent if you make me afraid to say no."

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. That means every minute and half someone endures the worse moment of their existence, and if they're lucky they'll escape with their life. The life that some evil person decided was theirs to break down and leave only the shell of the person they once were.

Did you know that 1 out of 6 women is a victim of attempted or completed rape, and 1 out of 10 men is a victim of attempted or completed rape. In college, men are five times more likely to experience sexual assault. You may be wondering why sexual assault and rape are still such a problem, and it is because of how we view and respond to the victims. It's because we victim blame. We try to make sense of the attacker's or rapist's actions. We ignore it. We do everything but help the person whose hurting. You see sexual assault is not about your reaction to someone telling you what they've gone through. It is about how the victim is feeling, coping, and how they're attempting to piece their life back together.

"I will never understand why is it more shameful to be raped than to be a rapist." - Sara Erdmann

We've taught men that admitting to being a victim of sexual assault means that they aren't "man" enough, because they "allowed" themselves to be attacked. For women, we think they brought it on themselves by wearing seductive clothing or flirting with their attacker. It is not the victim's fault for how someone responses to their attire or mannerisms. It's not a victim's fault that someone decided to attack or rape them.

So instead of blaming victims, why don't we start comforting instead. Yes, talking and understanding where sexual assault victims are coming from isn't easy, and to be completely honest it shouldn't be. The victims are having to relive details of their attack to learn how move past it, and the listener has to help them, usually without personal experience, and with an extremely open mind. It could be the hardest thing you help someone through. Our nation's problem with sexual assault should make you uncomfortable. You see the assault is just the beginning for the victims, it is the trauma, PTSD, and physical scars that haunt them for a lifetime.

"Being able to survive doesn't mean it was ever okay."

For those of you who don't know, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Because you see there is no timeline to healing. It can takes weeks, months, years, and even a whole lifetime to feel safe again. As a society we should want to do better, actually no, we NEED to do better. So if you're struggling with the trauma and memories of abuse, an sexual attack, or an assault, please visit RAINN's website (https://www.rainn.org), or call 800-656-HOPE (4673).

"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." - Carl Jung