I don't mean to turn away from Him right when I need to, it just happens. I always find myself isolating every thought, every action to myself. I have this desire to pick up the broken pieces and glue them back together on my own. And when I am in that situation, I am always wondering why I put myself in such a closed off position. I often forget that if I would just admit I need help and not shut the one the matters the most to me out, I would suffer less.
I know that I am not strong enough to take on things alone and He knows I shouldn't either. But why do I have this want, this need to go about the tough times alone? It's because society has taught me not to be weak, not to show the outside world that I am hurt. When did this happen, because it is not a healthy practice?
I spend my Sunday's going to church, where I feel whole and feel like I have a purpose. Life is a vicious circle that continues on whether you are ready or not. And I am never ready to be at what feels like the lowest of lows. But is anyone, really? I need to remember that God isn's going to put me through something where I am truly alone. His guidance is always there, I just need to remember that. I need to pull off the blinders and see the world around me.
I need to get out of my own self-fulfilling agendas and assess the situation with a new lens. The world does not revolve around my weaknesses and my problems are not the biggest problems out there. And that is hard to do when myself and others are all selfish in nature.
The clarity that comes with seeing the world around me is such a humbling feeling. And many just want to turn a blind eye to the fact that the world does not revolve around them. And when the waters get a little murky, God is always there with a helping hand to guide you the right direction.
Never lose hope in The One who has never lost hope in you.