I still introduce myself to new people as a dancer, even though it's been more than six months since I've technically been a dancer. When I first started my dance lessons at the age of four, I didn't know that it would end up being my passion.
This past weekend was the first dance competition for my home studio. Because college life is absolutely crazy, I was, unfortunately, unable to go to support my sister, students, and teammates. What I didn't realize was what a big toll this would take on me.
To understand this a little better, let me put it in perspective. All through high school, I danced twenty hours a week, as well as taught numerous recreational and competitive classes, where I taught technique and choreographed pieces for students ages 3 to 16.
As of two years ago, I was the only remaining dancer who was on the original competition team that started in 2009. I danced throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and I missed many opportunities to be in extracurriculars through my actual school because I chose to dance at the studio. I spent more waking hours in the studio than I did at home. And it was all worth it.
I knew that I was going to miss dance a lot. But I didn't know that being left out of the loop during the competition was going to hurt me so much. My team is my family, and this year, I don't even know what most of them are up to. The biggest updates on their lives I get these days are their Snapchat stories. I haven't even seen their dances this year, and I certainly didn't get to wish them good luck before they went backstage for each routine as I usually did.
I am very happy in my college life and there are some upsides to not being in the studio twenty hours a week, but I miss my family and my home. I understand that not only are my teammates busy, but I am busy too. I always look forward to going to the studio to see them all and try my hand at a class or two when I am home for a weekend or school break.
Life is hectic, so I try to make the best I can out of being away from these people. I cheered them on this past weekend from behind my laptop screen when I knew they were about to perform, even though I could have failed a class for it (don't worry about it, I didn't fail.)
Being away from home and from my dance studio is a lot harder than I was expecting. I still have incredible love and respect for all the dancers I spent so much time with, and I always look forward to seeing them do amazing things. Going from being a dancer to just being a cheerleader is hard, but I am going to have to learn to deal with it the best I can. I will visit my friends whenever I can, and be as supportive as possible for them.
Not being a dancer at my studio is hard, but I know that I will always have a place there, and I will always be able to call myself a dancer.