Everyone knows that peanut butter is one of the most delicious spreads in the universe. What most people don’t know, however, is that the sticky stuff is quite useful in many other non-edible ways. They might be a little unorthodox, but here are sixteen ways you can use peanut butter that are sure to make everyone you meet be like, “But why?”

1. Use it as suntan lotion.

Just slather some of that peanut butter over your nose, your ears, the back of your neck–all of those places most vulnerable to burn. It's sure to block out the sun. Sure some fellow beach-goers might all be like, “But why?” You’ll have the last laugh when you’re burn-free and they’re as red as a radish.

2. Use it as hair gel.

Trying to make your hair into that perfect style but regular hair gel just not working? Slog a heap of peanut butter right onto your scalp and fashion with it what you will. When people see the brown goop glistening on top of your head, they might be like, “But why?” All that’ll matters, though, is that you’re hair is looking fresh!

3. Use it as body wash.

Rub that peanut butter all over yourself and let those natural oils cleanse your body. You deserve a nice treat. Your partner might be like, “But why?” if they catch you using the spread in the shower, but give them a taste and they’ll be sure to hop on board the peanut butter body wash train.

4. Use it as glue.

Regular Elmer’s glue takes forever to get anything to hold. Wanna know what’ll get things stuck together faster? That’s right—it’s everyone’s favorite nut-flavored butter, peanut butter! Other arts-and-crafters are sure to be like, “But why?” when they see your startling substitution, but they’ll still be waiting for their own glue to dry while you’re on to the next project.

5. Use it as paint.

Making your masterpiece but not sure if you have the right shade of brown? Voila! Use peanut butter. There are all sorts of peanut butters with all sorts of colors, and artists might be like, “But why?” upon first use. Once your piece is finished though, all they’ll be like is, “Whoa. That's hot.”

6. Use it as an eraser.

Make a mistake while writing a letter to your grandma and don’t have an eraser to fix it? No need to fear, peanut butter is here! Just smudge a little bit of the brown stuff over that error and now it’s gone forever. Sure your grandmother might be like, “But why?” when she receives the heartfelt message, but she’ll understand. Grandmas always do.

7. Use it as blood (for donating).

Wanna donate some blood but afraid of needles? Stick that needle in a jar of peanut butter instead! Watch as the viscous spread slurps up the tube and fills the bag that would normally be holding a fair amount of your most precious bodily fluid. The nurse might be like, “But why?” Just tell them that you’re type PB+, grab your free cookie and juice, and tell them you’ll be back next month.

8. Use it as a toilet seat warmer.

Cold winters don’t make for fun poops. Solution: peanut butter! Slather it on thick, right there all over your toilet seat, and when you’re ready to sit, ready for the warmest toilet experience ever. Sure, your houseguests might be like, “But why?” Once they sit, though, they won’t be throwing that fit.

9. Use it as an ice cube.

Enjoying a nice glass of water but wish it were a little cooler? Peanut Butter. Keep it in the freezer overnight and then the next day, add a bit of the frozen butter to your drink. You might be like, “But why?" Once you get a taste of that cool, peanut-y water, though, you won’t drink regular water ever again.

10. Use it as a fish.

If you’ve got a bowl, some water, a desire for a low-hassle pet and no budget to care for it whatsoever, you’re in the market for a brand new underwater peanut butter pal. Scoop out a hunk and drop it right into that fishbowl. Friends might be like, “But why?” Honestly, I don’t have a valid explanation for this one. Just try it.

11. Use it as a pet.

If you already did the fish thing and want to take it one step further, just use your peanut butter as another pet. Set a scoop of it in a birdcage, put it on a leach, toss it in the litter box to make sure it knows where to go when it needs to go. PETA might be like, “But why?” They’ll figure out eventually that it’s just peanut butter, though, and then they’ll just be like, “But why?”.

12. Use it as a friend for when you just need someone to talk to.

Sad? Lonely? Completely and utterly alone? Peanut Butter. Grab the whole jar—no skimping out with this one—and take it to the living room couch. Sit there with it, talk about your problems, your issues, your dreams and your desires, and realize how great a listener peanut butter really is. Your cats might be like, “But why?” They never liked you anyway, though, so ignore them and really focus on this beautifully budding buttery bond.

13. Use it as a pair of sunglasses.

Sometimes, the sun (and your future) is just TOO BRIGHT. You’ve gotta throw on some shades, but you can’t find any around the house. Time for the peanut butter. Spread it on thick over your eyes and then you won’t be able to see the sun at all! Problem solved! The haters might be like, “But why?” You can’t see the haters though, so what do they know?

14. Use it as a pillow.

This pillow’s too soft, this pillow’s too hard, nothing seems to be just right—except for peanut butter. Dump jars and jars at the top of your bed and get ready for the best night of your life. Lay your head right on the sticky peanut pile (I’d recommend the chunky variety) and nestle right in. Your insomniac friend might be like, “But why?” He's just jealous. He can't sleep regardless of his pillow’s firmness, but with this nifty trick, he might finally catch some Z’s.

15. Use it as a form of currency.

Back in the good ol’ days, like thousands of years ago, we used a trade and barter system. No need for paper currency or metal currency or currency of any kind, really. One substance that might’ve passed as a universal commodity, though: peanut butter. Everyone loves this stuff, and everyone knows how valuable it can be, so be sure to keep some around for the next time you visit the grocery store and want to buy more peanut butter. Cashiers might be like, “But why?" If you grab your bags and run fast enough, though, they’ll take the form of payment.

16. Use it as a topping for your bowl of sauerkraut.

Slop a heaping helping of the ultimate deliciousness that is peanut butter on your fermented cabbage snack and you’ll be sure to…No. No. Just no. Please don’t do this. Peanut butter is amazing, but just no. It can’t make sauerkraut any better tasting, and if you do this, I’m gonna be like, “But why?” Just no, please. No.