Several months ago, I created a playlist named after (but not including) "Life Itself" by Glass Animals. In it I assembled a collection of songs that caused me to step back for a moment and think about life itself on my first listen. Some radically changed the way I see the world, the people in it, and my relationship with both. Some offered consolation, some offered warnings, some offered advice.
Some simply made me stop and think. All of them have helped me get through this thing called life. The playlist began when I realized there were three songs that I listened to for the reasons listed above. The playlist has only accumulated eleven songs over many months because I am very selective with the songs I add. I don’t go looking for them; they come to me.
1. "Still Fighting It" - Ben Folds
My first exposure to this song was when my high school show choir chose it as our choral piece. From the first listen, it stirred something in me. Something about the narrator looking back on his own life while seeing his son’s life laid out ahead of him is beautiful to me in a bittersweet way. On one hand, saying “It hurts to grow up” is sad, but adding “And everybody does” assures the son that he will never be alone.
Though life is often a constant struggle, the relationships we maintain make it bearable and worthwhile. I love the lyrics, “And how I picked you up and everything changed” and “It’s so weird to be back here,” because they show a sort of rebirth of the narrator with the birth of his son.
To me, they encapsulate the way having and raising children seems to make one think more like a child, which, while naïve, is a refreshing mindset that allows us to see the world in a new way. My biggest takeaway from “Still Fighting It” can be found in the words, “We’re still fighting it.” The important part is not fighting, but we.
2. "Candour" - Neck Deep
Neck Deep is a pop-punk band, so while their sound may not be for everybody, “Candour” still weaves a beautiful story. I see it as a love note to the narrator’s recently deceased father. It tells of the sacrifices the father made to provide for his family and the heavy burden he carried all his life.
Like most of these songs, “Candour” is both happy and sad. The father lead a difficult life that is now ending, but his sacrifice will allow the narrator to lead a better life. The narrator’s words, “The lessons learned at your side / will stay with me all my life” show that in a way, the narrator’s father is still alive. It is comforting to know that even after you pass, you can still influence the lives of those you left behind.
3. "Yesterday"- Atmosphere
“Yesterday” is one of those songs that sound happy until you listen to the words. It is a song about loss, regret, and nostalgia. The narrator says, “You crept out the front door slow / And I was so self-absorbed I didn’t even know,” which sums up the song nicely.
“Yesterday” helped change my attitude about relationships. We frequently don’t fully appreciate those dear to us until they are gone, so we should make the best of the time we have with them. There is another reason the song is so great, but I won’t spoil it for you.
4. "Bill & Annie" - Chuck Brodsky
I heard “Bill & Annie” when it was featured on the podcast “Welcome to Night Vale” (which is fantastic in its own right). It tells of the tragedy of a man who put someone else before himself and paid for it by wasting his life with the wrong person.
Chuck Brodsky’s clever wordplay and storytelling always brings me somewhere else. More bitter than sweet, “Bill & Annie” just makes me think . . . “and every now and then I do.”
5. "On Your Porch" - The Format
“On Your Porch” is another bittersweet song. It tells of a person who has been through a lot and has something to prove. The narrator’s reaction to his father getting sick tells a lot about his character: while his mother stays to “[nurse] him back to life,” the narrator runs.
But something in his father’s parting words resonates with him (which is apparent by their repetition in the second chorus). This song reminds me that it is possible to maintain hope through hard times and that people who make mistakes in the past can always redeem themselves.
6. "Moving On" - James
I discovered this song paired with its music video, and it broke me. It came to me in the middle of a tense period between my mom and me, and it served as a hard-hitting reminder that our time is limited. The music video reduced me to a sobbing mess the first time I watched it, as it came after a particularly bad night. Even now it brings tears. However, I always remind myself that I shouldn’t fear the day we part but cherish the days we have together.
7. "Effington" - Ben Folds
Ben Folds appears again because of how often his songs play with my emotions. "Effington" is a more hopeful song. The fictional city of Effington represents everything we want to be or have when we’re young and everything we tell ourselves we will do tomorrow. “Effington” reminds me that there are people already doing those things and all it takes is a little leap into the unknown. Or, in the context of the song, “[ditching] this little white rental on the interstate.”
8. "The World At Large" - Modest Mouse
Modest Mouse has always had an introspective and ethereal sound. “The World At Large” is the perfect soundtrack for wanderers or those who feel they have lost their purpose. While the lyrics fit this sentiment, the instrumental parts embody the feeling of being lost.
Where other songs on the list offer solutions, warnings, or encouragement, “The World At Large” simply allows you to be. It is cathartic in the sense that it doesn’t try to solve or alter your situation but makes you more comfortable in it.
9. "Gold Steps" - Neck Deep
The three most recent additions to the playlist have a similar message. Neck Deep’s second song on the list is a rejuvenating contrast to the sadder songs. In addition to being an awesome song, it is packed with awesome lyrics.
Favorites of mine include, “Sometimes things will bend you / but trust me you’ll be fine / cause I’ve been moving mountains that I once had to climb,” and “You say life has lost its meaning / and that’s true if you believe it / but someday you will stand above your demons.” Sometimes I need a reminder that life’s not out to get me, and “Gold Steps” serves as that reminder.
10. "Secret For The Mad" - dodie
“Secret For The Mad” is, unsurprisingly, the perfect song for when I’m mad. Like Ben Barlow in “Gold Steps,” dodie tries to help by approaching your troubles from the perspective of someone who has been there before.
She says, “And I get that I don’t get it / But you will burn right now but then you won’t regret it.” The minimal background noise mixed with dodie’s delicate voice helps get the message across immensely, making the song feel more personal and intimate. “Secret For The Mad” reminds me that if I “burn my way through” I will feel better in the end.
11. "Foolish Father" - Weezer
“Foolish Father” is one of the first songs on the playlist I heard, but is the most recently added. The first part of the song addresses a listener and begs her to “forgive [her] foolish father.” The hardest-hitting verse for me is, “Think of how destroyed he feels / walking to his grave plot / knowing that the one he loves / hates him with all of her heart.”
But the beauty of this song is that it doesn’t end after scolding the listener. The song switches gears and reassures the listener: “Everything Will Be Alright In The End.” Out of all the messages in the playlist, this has stuck with me the longest. Whenever I’m feeling stressed, lonely, or lost, or simply having a bad day, I tell myself “EWBAITE.” And every time, I’ve been right.
Music has helped and is helping me through some tough stages in my life. No doubt you have some songs that resonate with you like the ones on this playlist do with me. Songs that paint a beautiful picture of Life Itself. I would love to hear them. Send me a message on Twitter @sam_jirik and I’ll give them a listen. Whether you want to add what you love about the song is up to you.