Probably the hardest part of breaking up has been the being alone part. Going from talking to a person every day to hardly hearing from that at all is devastating. It is especially difficult when this person was the person you told everything to. And when I say everything I really do mean everything.

Unfortunately, I am no stranger to people leaving my life. Both of my biological parents were never really in my life and then I had a best friend all throughout middle school but in the eleventh grade, he stopped speaking to me.

Not to mention, I haven't been able to speak to my siblings who I grew up with in almost three years. So, yeah. People come and go. But this hurt so much differently. He was the first person that when he told me "I'm not going anywhere." I believed. I let myself be more vulnerable with him than I had ever been with anyone before. This was supposed to be different.

We slept together nearly every night for over a year. He knew me better than even I knew myself. We'd go out to eat and he would know what I wanted before I even had a chance to look at the menu.

He knew that when I I got mad all he had to do was talk in his fake Russian accent and then I would have no choice but to bust out laughing. He knew how to talk me out of the worst kind of mood and make me feel like the only girl in the world for him. These are all things that I will miss. These are all things that I will have to live without.

I have come to cherish my alone time and I have come to realize that sometimes it is better to be alone. By being in such an intimate relationship was closing myself off from all kinds of opportunities that I otherwise would have taken advantage had I not been with him. I have already met several people who I am sure are going to be in my life for a long time.

But if they end up not being in it, then that's okay too because being alone is okay. I don't need a single person or people to validate my worth or my existence. I am here for me and I am here to get me better. By being able to focus more on myself I have already come to be comfortable with silence and comfortable with being alone.