Allow Yourself To Feel Your Sadness

Allow Yourself To Feel Your Sadness

It's okay if, some days, the only thing you did was wake up.
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One out of four adults over the age of 18 live with a diagnosable mental health disorder.

In college students, this number is even higher. A quarter of college women will experience an anxiety disorder, and 1 in 12 college students make a plan for suicide. I am that statistic. I am most mental illness statistics, in fact.

My mental illness developed around the time I turned 14, I am the one in four with anxiety, and I am the one in twelve who have made a suicide plan.

I am medicated, working through therapy and my own feelings and choosing to put myself first. But the most important thing I learned about my struggle wasn't about knowing when to scream for help at the top of your lungs, or how to talk about your struggles without triggering others. It was learning to accept my sadness.

My depression manifests itself in a soul-crushing elephant sitting on my chest, making it impossible for me to get out of bed. I can't do anything to change my brain chemistry, but what I can change is how I respond to my bad days. If I spend time beating myself up for not making it to my attendance-optional recitation, then the cycle will only continue rather than being interrupted.

You have to understand your illness, your mind, and your life -- no matter what medication you're on or how great your therapist is or how good things are going in your life, you're going to have bad days.

You're going to have those days where you wonder if you made any progress at all with all the hard work you've been putting in. Know that you are making progress, and recovery isn't true recovery without setbacks. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to forgive yourself.

Allow yourself to feel that sadness, allow yourself to take the time to deal with those feelings and that heaviness in your bones without worrying about the other things you have going on. A hard lesson to learn is loving yourself enough to put yourself first, and moreover, having enough respect for yourself to allow yourself to feel that deeply.

It's okay if, some days, the only thing you did was wake up. It's okay that some days you feel hopeless and like nothing is going right, and it's okay that sometimes you have to take a mental health day. It's okay to accept your sadness and use it on your journey to balance.

So put on your sad playlist, curl up in your favorite blanket, and have a good cry if that's what you need. Or surround yourself with friends who make you laugh. Or do whatever it is you have to do to work through what you're feeling so you can return to the long, painful but ultimately important road to recovery.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hor air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

Cover Image Credit:

Author's illustration

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15 Ways Girls Can Practice Self-Love

For the longest time I was very unhappy with myself and had negative self love habits. Learning ways to feel good about myself and care for myself was life changing. Listen to your body and put your mental health first.

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Remember you are beautiful and always take care of yourself, ladies!!

1. Have some me time!

self love GIF by THE TRIXIE & KATYA SHOW

It is so important to take time for yourself. Relax and do what makes you happy.

2. Take a bath.

relaxed oprah winfrey GIF

Bubble bath with lavender and coconut oil is my go to!! its relaxing and makes your skin super soft

3. Masks, masks, masks...

facial kabhi khushi kabhi gham GIF by bypriyashah

Hair masks and face masks are life changing. When you look good, you feel good. So take care of that pretty skin and lovely locks!!

4. Exercise.

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Try to be active at least three times a week. It is scientifically proven that exercise releases endorphins which is your "feel-good" hormone!!

5. Treat yourself (with your favorite food)!

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My go-to treat is Bluebell. There is nothing wrong with indulging every once in a while!

6. Treat yourself (materialistically)!

Confessions Of A Shopaholic Shopping GIF

Buy that cute top you've been eyeing. Buy that purse you told yourself you didn't reallllly need. Get yourself some flowers. Sunflowers are my personal favorite!

7. A good mani pedi.

on fleek GIF by Marie Claire

When I have a fresh set I feel like a whole new person. Try a new fun color or try getting dipped nails. It's the best thing ever.

8. Be kind to yourself.

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Absolutely no negative talk. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful. Focus on the things you like about yourself.

9. Surround yourself with good people.

best friends love GIF by TV Land

Don't let people negatively effect you. You should be surrounded by people that love you and support your growth.

10. Chose. Yourself.


It's so easy to feel guilty for letting yourself be happy. But it's not a bad thing. You don't have to become selfish, but put yourself first sometimes.

11. Go out!

man i feel like a woman girls night GIF by Shania Twain

Get dressed up and go out with friends! Perhaps it is high-time to put on your best outfit and turn heads ;)

12. Take a vacation.

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Sometimes you just need some time away. It doesn't have to be somewhere far away. Just take a little break from adulting and relax a little.

13. Self-help books galore.

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I'm not much of a reader, but reading books about your current struggles really helps. Especially as a young woman, I really love "You're already Amazing" by Holly Gerth.

14. Pick up a new hobby!

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Start crafting, decorate your house, or bake cupcakes for all your neighbors! Find something that makes you happy and run with it.

15. Get your beauty sleep.

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My favorite activity is napping. Rest your mind and body. Beauty sleep is a thing. Rest and let that skin shine again!

Cover Image Credit:

Hannah Ward

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