When you ask a person what they think of when they think about a toxic person, more than likely that person may bring up a past friendship, past partner, or even a family member. What most of those people may never realize is that sometimes they themselves can be toxic in other people's lives as well.

In life, it is so easy to point the finger at someone for our problems and for the problems of other's as well, but somehow it is hard to look at our own selves and realize that we can also be a problem in someone else's life.

The hardest thing most people may not be able to do is to own up to something that they had done in life that had affected others in a negative way. It was hard for me to do that as well and after my last relationship. I had realized that, although my ex may seem like the bad guy, I had a few faults within our relationship as well. Had I not realized this about myself and gotten into another relationship, I know my next relationship would suffer greatly as well.

When you go through life not owning up to anything, it can have a snowball effect on your life.

Looking back at my last relationship, I realized that I had a lot of toxic traits that many people may not have been able to put up with. The one trait I found most problematic was that it was hard for me to let go of things and forgive my last partner when he had made his first major mistake in our relationship. I would always hang that specific issue over his head and acted like he was always the bad guy. The truth was I treated him like the bad guy but never talked to him and let him know how to fix things because up until recently I had always thought that a good partner will always know how to make you happy.

The truth is that, like me, my ex is also a person. He had also been hurt by people he should have been able to trust and like me, does not know how to love. Looking back I realized that we were both toxic to one another.

Because of this realization, the main thing I learned is that I may not be able to change my ex and his toxic traits but I can always change myself. I realized that working on myself first is more important than being in another relationship because the last thing I want is to put someone through my issues that they don't deserve to go through. Being toxic to someone in life will always be inevitable but at the end of the day, we have a choice to change for the next person or let the next person suffer because of our own flaws and insecurities.