All the Single Ladies: Put Your Hands Up

All the Single Ladies: Put Your Hands Up

In the midst of our loneliness, there is hope.
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"Happy Valentine's Day, Bae!!"

"365 days with my main man!!"

"I think I kinda like him... ;)"

Is anyone else tired of seeing these captions on Instagram while you're sitting on your couch with a box of Cheez-Its watching "Gossip Girl?" Because I am.

Well, I was.

Being single kinda sucks sometimes. You don't have a cute boy to give you a hug on your worst day, vent to when your best friend is driving you crazy, congratulate you when you make an A on the test you were freaking about, or buy you dinner on Friday nights (DISCLAIMER: I do not pursue relationships strictly for the free food... but it definitely is a pro of dating someone). But I digress...

Not being in a relationship is lonely and discouraging. You start to think that maybe you're not pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough, or just good enough in general. You see all the girls in happy relationships and you think, "What makes them better than me?"

It's a trap. It keeps you in constant loneliness and frustration. It makes you question what exactly is wrong with you. I know, because this is something I've been struggling with this year. This is the longest I've been single since my freshman year of high school, and trust me, it's tough. However, after a lot of prayer and girl time, I've come to realize something:

A boyfriend isn't the only source of encouragement and support. A boyfriend isn't the only outlet for your frustration and disappointment. A boyfriend isn't the only place for you to find pure, strong love.

I've found a source of all of these things in the two G's: Girlfriends and God.

Girlfriends rock. They hug you, cry with you, encourage you, laugh with you, and tell you when you're being ridiculous. Yeah, sometimes a hug from a boy is a bit more enjoyable. But your girlfriends are there for you no matter what. Single or taken, your girlfriends will never leave. I've come to learn that no matter what boy I'm dating (or wish to be dating), my girlfriends are full of real, encouraging love and support, and that's something that can't be ignored. So in the midst of my loneliness, they're who I should be turning to. They're who will lift me up and encourage me on my worst days. No, they probably won't buy me dinner. But getting to do life with them is much more fulfilling than a free meal (unless it's at Moe's... in which case, it's debatable).

The other "G" provides about 28049832 times more love, support, mercy, grace, and encouragement than any earthly being can provide you. God is incredible. He has a plan for us, He created us, and He has a reason for us to be single. And while it's hard to come to terms with it and to trust Him, I have to constantly remind myself that He knows who I'll be with. My "singleness" is temporary, and His plan for me and my future is far greater than anything I could plan myself. I'll admit, it's tough to trust an invisible "being" with my future when my life seems to be in shambles and my singleness seems to be overwhelming. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." It's tough to rely on Him and His love when I really just want a hug from a boy. However, He is the source of peace, rest, and love.

So, moral of the story: being lonely sucks, but you can make it not suck as much. You have an abundance of love from your girls and your Savior, and that's something that shouldn't be ignored. The next time you feel unwanted, unloved, or unsure of yourself and your worth, turn to them. And although they may not buy you queso on a Friday night, they'll remind you of how loved you really are.

Cover Image Credit: self.com via tumblr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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People Who Invalidate Your Feelings Don't Actually Care About You

People that refuse to acknowledge that they've hurt my feelings and say I have no right to feel how I'm feeling are not people that I want to be my friends.

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I'm an emotional person, to say the least. Whenever I get upset about something, I usually end up crying about it. Crying is one of the main ways I process my emotions and get sh*t out, instead of letting it bottle up. When I was a teenager and younger, I was definitely the person who wanted to bottle up my emotions and just never deal with them. Bottling up my emotions ACTUALLY ended with me blowing up every once in a while or having a huge breakdown.

Processing my feelings as they come is a healthier approach for me in handling my emotions AND it allows me to communicate when I'm upset with my friends shortly after the fact.

Sometimes, I'll confront one of my friends about how their actions made me feel like garbage and they'll go off about how I shouldn't feel this way and they're doing all they can to be a good friend. This dialogue is frustrating because I'm not saying they're a bad friend or a bad person. All I'm saying is they hurt my feelings and I would like for them to acknowledge it and try to avoid it in the future, if possible.

Another example, I have this other friend who doesn't listen to me at ALL when I talk to them. Sometimes, they will seem to register what I'm saying and connect with me, but two weeks later, they won't remember ever having talked about it. We went out together after getting back from winter break and they never stopped talking about themselves the whole time. Whenever I talked, it seemed like an interruption in their monologue. They wouldn't even acknowledge what I said and their actions hurt my feelings. How can someone say they care about me, yet treat me like that? They only wanted me to hear THEIR side of the story, without retaining any information about me.

People that refuse to acknowledge that they've hurt my feelings and say I have no right to feel how I'm feeling are not people that I want to be my friends. I want friends who recognize my feelings, even if they don't agree with them. I can't do anything to change my feelings! All I can do is accept them and tell my friends when they've hurt my feelings. When people try to change how I feel by saying I shouldn't be upset or saying I'm overreacting, it shows how little respect they have for me. Why would I want to be friends with someone like that?

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