All the Single Ladies: Put Your Hands Up

All the Single Ladies: Put Your Hands Up

In the midst of our loneliness, there is hope.
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"Happy Valentine's Day, Bae!!"

"365 days with my main man!!"

"I think I kinda like him... ;)"

Is anyone else tired of seeing these captions on Instagram while you're sitting on your couch with a box of Cheez-Its watching "Gossip Girl?" Because I am.

Well, I was.

Being single kinda sucks sometimes. You don't have a cute boy to give you a hug on your worst day, vent to when your best friend is driving you crazy, congratulate you when you make an A on the test you were freaking about, or buy you dinner on Friday nights (DISCLAIMER: I do not pursue relationships strictly for the free food... but it definitely is a pro of dating someone). But I digress...

Not being in a relationship is lonely and discouraging. You start to think that maybe you're not pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough, or just good enough in general. You see all the girls in happy relationships and you think, "What makes them better than me?"

It's a trap. It keeps you in constant loneliness and frustration. It makes you question what exactly is wrong with you. I know, because this is something I've been struggling with this year. This is the longest I've been single since my freshman year of high school, and trust me, it's tough. However, after a lot of prayer and girl time, I've come to realize something:

A boyfriend isn't the only source of encouragement and support. A boyfriend isn't the only outlet for your frustration and disappointment. A boyfriend isn't the only place for you to find pure, strong love.

I've found a source of all of these things in the two G's: Girlfriends and God.

Girlfriends rock. They hug you, cry with you, encourage you, laugh with you, and tell you when you're being ridiculous. Yeah, sometimes a hug from a boy is a bit more enjoyable. But your girlfriends are there for you no matter what. Single or taken, your girlfriends will never leave. I've come to learn that no matter what boy I'm dating (or wish to be dating), my girlfriends are full of real, encouraging love and support, and that's something that can't be ignored. So in the midst of my loneliness, they're who I should be turning to. They're who will lift me up and encourage me on my worst days. No, they probably won't buy me dinner. But getting to do life with them is much more fulfilling than a free meal (unless it's at Moe's... in which case, it's debatable).

The other "G" provides about 28049832 times more love, support, mercy, grace, and encouragement than any earthly being can provide you. God is incredible. He has a plan for us, He created us, and He has a reason for us to be single. And while it's hard to come to terms with it and to trust Him, I have to constantly remind myself that He knows who I'll be with. My "singleness" is temporary, and His plan for me and my future is far greater than anything I could plan myself. I'll admit, it's tough to trust an invisible "being" with my future when my life seems to be in shambles and my singleness seems to be overwhelming. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." It's tough to rely on Him and His love when I really just want a hug from a boy. However, He is the source of peace, rest, and love.

So, moral of the story: being lonely sucks, but you can make it not suck as much. You have an abundance of love from your girls and your Savior, and that's something that shouldn't be ignored. The next time you feel unwanted, unloved, or unsure of yourself and your worth, turn to them. And although they may not buy you queso on a Friday night, they'll remind you of how loved you really are.

Cover Image Credit: self.com via tumblr

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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