The moment after I found out that I had gotten deferred from another school that I had put on the top of my college list, I cried. I sat and I cried and I worried about the fact that I was not going to get into any school that I wanted to go to. I thought about how if I got into any of my schools I would have to transfer to somewhere I liked better. I speculated on what schools I would get into by comparing acceptance rates and ACT scores and any other piece of data I could get.

The moment after I had received the decisions from all my colleges a feeling of relief and dread fell over me. I thought about how I didn’t have to wait for anything else, how out of the colleges that I was accepted into, one of them would be where I was going. But then I began to wonder about how I would make this decision: what should I look for, what would make one better than the other, which would be the best? I realized that although the wait was over, the hardest part was yet to come. When the decision was in the colleges' hands I had nothing to do, but then I understood that my future was up to me.

The moment after I committed to my school it dawned on me that this most likely was going to be the place that I would spend the next four years of my life. I had always told my friends from home that college is a place where people find their future friends and their future husband. The congratulations page after committing made me realize that this is the place I would make those connections. I felt happy with my decision but a certain level of uneasiness lurked behind my joy. I rattled question after question through my head making sure that I made the right decision. Should I have chosen the other school? Will I succeed? Will I be happy here?

The moment after my family and friends left after helping me move in I accepted that I was happy with the future in front of me. After going to a couple of the freshman activities and simply walking around campus I figured that there really would be no way of saying that this was a better decision than my other schools, but I would know that this place made me feel good. I felt a level of warmth and acceptance that I hadn’t felt in many other places. The anxiety of my decision left my mind and I just focused on what I was going to do while I was here.

After being at my school for almost a whole year I realize that there is no right decision when choosing a college, aside from choosing what makes you happy. All the worry and sadness and anxiety I felt was not useless, it helped me get where I was now, but I wish I would’ve had more of a sense of it being ok. For anyone going through this process know that you will feel every possible feeling, but you will end up making it to a place where you find yourself. Good luck.