You can imagine that, like most girls my age, I have had my fair share (or more) of heartbreaks.
I remember at 13 when I had my heart broken for the first time. I thought my life was over and that there was no way in the world that I could go on without the boy I loved.
I remember crying on my mom's shoulder and her telling me what, at the time, I thought was completely absurd.
"Honey, I know it hurts now, but you'll be okay. This won't be your last heartbreak, but one day, when you find the man who truly deserves you, it will all be worth it."
I told her that she was wrong and that he was the ONLY boy that I would ever love.
Guess who was right...
That's right... she was.
I went through heartbreak...after heartbreak...after heartbreak...
Each one felt a thousand times worse than the last.
You boys sure put me through hell and back.
Some of you cheated. Some of you lied. Some of your parents or exes got in the way. Some of you couldn't put up my mental disorders and how they sometimes made me act.
Regardless of the whys and hows of the breakups, the end result was the same.
Each time one of you hurt me, I cried on my mom's shoulder. From age 13 all the way to age 18.
Each time, I told her, "Mom this is the worst pain I've ever felt. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. I'm never gonna find someone like him."
Each time, she held me and said, "Honey, it's not your last heartbreak. You're gonna find the man who deserves you and treats you right someday."
I have stayed angry with all of you for so long.
Each time I saw your face, all I could think about was the time I caught you with her.
The time you were physically aggressive with me.
The time you promised you would quit abusing drugs, but never did.
The time you made me feel like it was all my fault.
The thousands of times you took advantage of my immense love for you.
The thought of any of you made my blood boil.
Recently, however, all of that anger finally went away....
When I found the man of my dreams.
I realized that the reason I was so angry with you, was because I was still looking for someone to be the man I hoped you would be.
Each time one of our relationships began, I told my mom, "This time it's different! He's the one, mom. I love him so much and he's the man I'm going to marry."
"You say that every time. Slow down. You'll find the one someday."
When I started dating the man I'm now engaged to, I told mom, "He's the one. I love him and he treats me so well. I'm going to marry him."
Mom responded with, "I know, honey. He's the one."
So all I have to say to any of you now is...
Thank you for breaking my heart because each day of pain you brought me, led me that much closer to my future husband.
I've finally found the man that I am going to marry.